The Department of Agriculture recently announced it takes $250,000 to raise a child through high school. Why the Dept. of Agriculture? Because children are similar to vegetables. I think this estimate is severely low. Having raised four daughters, here are some expenses I don’t think the researchers took into account: Home repairs including, but not limitedContinue reading “The TRUE Cost of Having Children”
Author Archives: Peri Kinder
Top 5 Reasons to Stop Watching NBC’s Version of the Olympics
I know, I know, greatest athletes, heartbreaking stories. I get it. Every two years, NBC saturates the airwaves with backstories and teasers while the Olympic Games take place in the background. Enough already. Let us just watch the events without your commentators’ blathering inaneness. (Ernie’s facepalm for the Games.) Here are 5 Reasons to StopContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Stop Watching NBC’s Version of the Olympics”
Driver’s License Division from the Black Lagoon
(Mike Thaler hasn’t written “DLD from the Black Lagoon”–but he should.) My driver’s license expired. I had to go to the Driver’s License Division to get it renewed. But I’d heard terrible stories about the DLD: The lines are so long I’d lose feeling in my legs; the workers are cannibals; the back room isContinue reading “Driver’s License Division from the Black Lagoon”
Top 5 Ways to Make Money With Your Sweet Writing Skills
Yes, I know your heart’s desire is to write the next best-selling young adult fantasy trilogy that involves a love triangle between a goblin, a unicorn and a pair of comfy slippers but, not to dash your dreams into a glacier of cold reality, it’s probably not gonna happen. (Are they assuming you’re writing for young adult dummies?Continue reading “Top 5 Ways to Make Money With Your Sweet Writing Skills”
Top 5 Ways To Celebrate Freedom
Interestingly enough, February 1 is National Freedom Day (Lincoln abolished slavery) while July 4 is National Independence Day (America abolished Great Britain). (Hopefully, your Independence Day won’t include a devastating alien invasion.) As U.S. citizens, we celebrate freedom by eating vast amounts of barbecue, lighting things on fire and waving at beauty queens during a parade.Continue reading “Top 5 Ways To Celebrate Freedom”
Things Driving Me Crazy Today
On Tuesdays, things seem to perturb me much more quickly. No reason. Just Tuesday. Here’s my latest list of head-banging-against-the-wall-of-life situations: Trying to save gas by not running the AC in the car, only to arrive at my business meeting with my silk shirt stuck to my back. (Literally.) People who call and leave loooooooong, meandering,Continue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy Today”
Things My Dad Taught Me
While my mom taught me how to read, write and cheat at Skip-Bo, my dad also contributed to my up-bringing–whether he wants to admit it or not. Here are some important things my dad taught me: How to make Lumpy Dick (Real name. I swear): One of dad’s favorite snacks. Mix flour, boiling water, milk. Eat. (SameContinue reading “Things My Dad Taught Me”
Top 5 Reasons To Become A Hermit
After dealing with the public for decades, I’m putting myself in time out. Forever. My husband thinks I might have a social disorder called Absolutely Sick of Dealing With People Who Piss Me Off. (Or ASODWPWPMO for short.) (In Time Out with Ringo until we can behave properly. Might be a while.) Hermiting (as it’s calledContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons To Become A Hermit”
Fifty Shades of Beige
The popularity of the pornographically-erotic book Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James indicates a high level of sexual frustration in women. The book follows the dark relationship between Ana and the hilariously-named Christian, with the expected amount of raw sex. (His skirt looks a little too flowy to be a kilt.) Bodice-rippers are not newContinue reading “Fifty Shades of Beige”
Top 5 Things Men Should Stop Doing
I appreciate women can be difficult. We’re uber-smart, super strong, overly capable and do a variety of activities while wearing six-inch heels and applying lip gloss. But, for some reason, men continue to patronize us while totally ignoring the fact we’re intelligent beings. Here are the top 5 things men should just stop doing. RightContinue reading “Top 5 Things Men Should Stop Doing”
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