There are lots of people in this world who scare me, like toddlers, Christian nationalists and the barista who always compliments my shirt, even when I’m wearing a blood-stained hoodie. But dentists! Dentists are a higher level of fear. I’m sure they get tired of being compared to the sadistic dentist in “Little Shop ofContinue reading “It’s Like Pulling Teeth”
Tag Archives: Humor
Barking up the Wrong Tree
My dog Jedi started barking at cars. All the time. I don’t know why but my best guess is she a) hates cars, b) loves cars, c) wants to scare cars or d) she needs a ride to Petsmart to pick up some jerky treats and tennis balls. I stop her from dragging us bothContinue reading “Barking up the Wrong Tree”
A Bit of a Stretch
If you’d told me 20 years ago that I’d be a yoga instructor, I’d have laughed hard enough to tear a hamstring because I was very inflexible. I took my first yoga class as a dare. My tennis instructor laughed at how tight I was and challenged me to try yoga. I hated every minuteContinue reading “A Bit of a Stretch”
Rage Against the Machine
First, robots came for assembly line workers. Then they came for agricultural and warehouse jobs. Then a cyborg assassin time-traveled from 2029 to 1984 to kill Sarah Connor. What will artificial intelligence target next? If you ask our publisher, journalism is on the robotic chopping block. He recently sat down with our editorial team andContinue reading “Rage Against the Machine”
The Royal Treatment
Polish your teapots, iron your doilies and butter your crumpets. For the first time in 70 years, an English monarch will be crowned and the whole world will tune in to see if King Charles III, Prince William and Prince Harry bust each other up at Westminster Abbey. Whether or not the coronation turns intoContinue reading “The Royal Treatment”
Take Pride in Love
Although I don’t like crowds, parades or people, in general, when my husband suggested we attend the Pride Parade last month in Salt Lake, I painted a rainbow on my face, donned my “More Love” shirt and jumped in the car. After a year of devastating anti-gay and anti-trans legislation across the country, we wantedContinue reading “Take Pride in Love”
It Takes a Village
Women who work outside the home are supernatural shapeshifters. One minute they’re closing the deal on a $5-million property and the next minute they’re on the phone with their 5-year-old daughter who’s upset because the parakeet won’t talk to her. I think we can agree women are in the workplace. I think we can agreeContinue reading “It Takes a Village”
A lot on my plate
Fear sells, but why does the food industry use anxiety to sell products? I mean, if there’s one thing the seven billion people on this planet agree on, it’s that we need food. (And Baby Yoda is adorable. That’s universally accepted.) When COVID hit last spring, I heard we’d run out of beef by autumn.Continue reading “A lot on my plate”
Making the grade
When my kids were little, I did a bit of substitute teaching. After I accidentally threw an encyclopedia and flipped a desk over, I realized teaching elementary school probably wasn’t for me. Teachers are comprised of strong stuff. The molten lava that flows through their veins gives them courage and an unbreakable gaze. A skeletonContinue reading “Making the grade”
A Dropped Call
Like a mother in a Disney movie, my cell phone died inexplicably. Well, not inexplicably. I dropped it in the toilet. I was wearing jeans for the first time in seven months and had the phone in my back pocket when it promptly fell into the commode. My phone, not my back pocket. There’s aContinue reading “A Dropped Call”
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