After dealing with the public for decades, I’m putting myself in time out. Forever. My husband thinks I might have a social disorder called Absolutely Sick of Dealing With People Who Piss Me Off. (Or ASODWPWPMO for short.) (In Time Out with Ringo until we can behave properly. Might be a while.) Hermiting (as it’s calledContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons To Become A Hermit”
Tag Archives: Humor
Fifty Shades of Beige
The popularity of the pornographically-erotic book Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James indicates a high level of sexual frustration in women. The book follows the dark relationship between Ana and the hilariously-named Christian, with the expected amount of raw sex. (His skirt looks a little too flowy to be a kilt.) Bodice-rippers are not newContinue reading “Fifty Shades of Beige”
Top 5 Things Men Should Stop Doing
I appreciate women can be difficult. We’re uber-smart, super strong, overly capable and do a variety of activities while wearing six-inch heels and applying lip gloss. But, for some reason, men continue to patronize us while totally ignoring the fact we’re intelligent beings. Here are the top 5 things men should just stop doing. RightContinue reading “Top 5 Things Men Should Stop Doing”
Straight to DVD . . .
With the box-office success of the badly-dialogued Battleship, I thought I’d give board-game-based screenplay writing a try. (Vote for your favorite. I’ll write it, submit it to Hollywood and watch the cash roll in. Mwahahahaha!) Operation: A medieval doctor with a drinking problem operates on patients without anaesthesia. (Well, the patients aren’t anesthetized.) Since Hugh Laurie isContinue reading “Straight to DVD . . .”
Things Driving Me Crazy Today
Wind makes me tense. So does being awake. So when I’m awake on a blustery day, I tend to be easily irritated. Here are the main culprits causing my insanity today. (Wind is NEVER this romantic.) Tank tops with built-in “bras.” Tank top makers, my bosom area doesn’t fit into those stupid built-in Kleenex brasContinue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy Today”
Top 5 Ways to Tell It’s Spring in Utah
Utah is “blessed” to experience all four seasons (deer hunt, basketball, soccer and tourist). But when spring finally arrives (usually around July 22), the weather actually becomes bearable. Translation: I can wear shorts and tank tops without a parka. (You can tell it’s May. Shorts and flip-flops, baby!) Here are the top 5 ways to tell it’sContinue reading “Top 5 Ways to Tell It’s Spring in Utah”
Top 5 Reasons I Hate Tuesdays
Everyone whines and whines about Mondays–but anyone with sense knows the worst day of the week is Tuesday. If the end of the world happens, it will be on a Tuesday. Guaranteed. It’s never a day off work, never a “hump” day and never part of an extended weekend, unless that Monday-night party left you incapacitated.Continue reading “Top 5 Reasons I Hate Tuesdays”
Things Driving Me Crazy Today
I’m usually so mild-mannered and relaxed. But once in a while, my knickers get twisted and I get highly irrational. This is one of those times. These are things twisting my knickers today: North Korea. Just ’cause. My bathroom scale. I’m pretty sure it’s stuck. (I tried bashing it with a hammer, but the numberContinue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy Today”
Yoga vs. Cardio Blast
For several years I taught an early morning yoga class on Wednesdays. What a great way to start the day!! Unfortunately, very few people felt the same way–and my class was cancelled. (Death to change!) But NOW my boss has me teaching a Cardio Blast, high-intensity interval class at 5:45 on Wednesday mornings that involvesContinue reading “Yoga vs. Cardio Blast”
Top 5 Reasons to Be Happy Today
Society tends to be pessimistic. Global warming, higher taxes, the New York Jets and Mitt Romney cause dark clouds to form in our brains. But, look at the bright side! Cheer up! Turn that frown upside down! Spoonful of sugar! Blah, blah, blah! Here are some reasons to be happy today: 1–It’s A New Beginning: So,Continue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Be Happy Today”
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