Now that I’m a super-famous blogger, I’m always getting stopped in the street and asked questions. Usually those questions are along the lines of, “Can you get out of my way, ma’am?” or “What the hell are you doing?” but once in a while, someone surprises me with a true inquiry. Because I don’t knowContinue reading “Questions I’m Often Asked”
Author Archives: Peri Kinder
Things I Don’t Clean (Don’t Judge Me, You Judging Judgers)
In a previous life, I must have been an overworked, underpaid maid, because in my current life, I have no desire to clean anything. To avoid health department citations (and rats) I do the bare minimum required to keep cholera and typhus out of my home, but that’s the extent of my housekeeping. Unfortunately, I’ve learned there are LOTS ofContinue reading “Things I Don’t Clean (Don’t Judge Me, You Judging Judgers)”
Top 5 Ways To Stay Awake During Afternoon Meetings
Even if you’ve been freebasing Mountain Dew Voltage, eating sugar straight from the bag, or enduring a 5-Hour Energy Drink enema, chances are, if you’re stuck in an afternoon meeting, you will fall asleep. It doesn’t matter if you’re attending a conference in Disneyworld, enduring a church meeting on a warm summer day or sittingContinue reading “Top 5 Ways To Stay Awake During Afternoon Meetings”
Back-To-School Guide from A to Z
To quote the great Yogi Berra, “I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.” Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s turn our attention to all the things that need to be done before your adorable children head back to school. You’ve hadContinue reading “Back-To-School Guide from A to Z”
Things That Make Me Happy
I’m a pretty happy person. I’m realistically optimistic and usually expect the best. But I can also be a bit moody (“What the hell does THAT mean?”) and can get gloomy if I find myself doing the same thing over and over again. I’m also pretty good at cheering myself up. I have lots of go-toContinue reading “Things That Make Me Happy”
I Use Words Good
I’ve been known to make words up. Usually swear words. But, still . . . Anyway. Time magazine studied why some made-up or blended words work. Successful examples include: affluenza (a lack of motivation affecting young wealthy people), dramedy (a drama/comedy–much like Congress) and Brangelina (the joining of two amazingly gorgeous people). The magazine also studied why some words don’t work. ForContinue reading “I Use Words Good”
Things I’ll Never Say at a BBQ
(For Star Wars nerds.) Summer means BBQs which means getting corn-on-the-cob stuck between my teeth and coming down with salmonella poisoning from all the meat and salads left on the patio for hours. It means watching flies land on the watermelon, and ice-cream bars melting down my forearms. But no matter how much I loveContinue reading “Things I’ll Never Say at a BBQ”
Top 5 Reasons to be Lazy This Summer
Remember when you were a kid and summer vacation stretched out like a long, sweet piece of warm caramel? Well, get over it. You’ll never have three months to do absolutely nothing EVER AGAIN. But. While you might not be able to laze around the house in your jammies, eating cold cereal and popsicles untilContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to be Lazy This Summer”
Top 5 Reasons to Not Eat Avocados
I’m basically an all-food eating machine. But there are some items of “food” I must refuse–on totally valid grounds. For instance, I don’t eat mayonnaise because it’s icky. I refuse to eat squid because it’s icky. In fact, most foods I don’t eat are just plain icky. Take the avocado–please (ba-dum-dum). Besides not knowing whichContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Not Eat Avocados”
The Sinning Yogi
I guess now there’s an eighth deadly sin: yoga. According to a Catholic bishop in Nebraska, women who practice yoga are putting their souls at risk while becoming daaaammn flexible. He calls yoga “a pagan religion based on heathen beliefs.” I guess that explains why every time I practice yoga I get the urge to sacrifice aContinue reading “The Sinning Yogi”
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