I’ve been known to make words up. Usually swear words. But, still . . . Anyway. Time magazine studied why some made-up or blended words work. Successful examples include: affluenza (a lack of motivation affecting young wealthy people), dramedy (a drama/comedy–much like Congress) and Brangelina (the joining of two amazingly gorgeous people). The magazine also studied why some words don’t work. ForContinue reading “I Use Words Good”
Tag Archives: Humor
Things I’ll Never Say at a BBQ
(For Star Wars nerds.) Summer means BBQs which means getting corn-on-the-cob stuck between my teeth and coming down with salmonella poisoning from all the meat and salads left on the patio for hours. It means watching flies land on the watermelon, and ice-cream bars melting down my forearms. But no matter how much I loveContinue reading “Things I’ll Never Say at a BBQ”
Top 5 Reasons to be Lazy This Summer
Remember when you were a kid and summer vacation stretched out like a long, sweet piece of warm caramel? Well, get over it. You’ll never have three months to do absolutely nothing EVER AGAIN. But. While you might not be able to laze around the house in your jammies, eating cold cereal and popsicles untilContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to be Lazy This Summer”
Top 5 Reasons to Not Eat Avocados
I’m basically an all-food eating machine. But there are some items of “food” I must refuse–on totally valid grounds. For instance, I don’t eat mayonnaise because it’s icky. I refuse to eat squid because it’s icky. In fact, most foods I don’t eat are just plain icky. Take the avocado–please (ba-dum-dum). Besides not knowing whichContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Not Eat Avocados”
The Sinning Yogi
I guess now there’s an eighth deadly sin: yoga. According to a Catholic bishop in Nebraska, women who practice yoga are putting their souls at risk while becoming daaaammn flexible. He calls yoga “a pagan religion based on heathen beliefs.” I guess that explains why every time I practice yoga I get the urge to sacrifice aContinue reading “The Sinning Yogi”
Idioms for Dummies
It would be fair to assume the word “idiom” meant “a gathering of idiots.” But you would be wrong. Funny, but wrong. An idiom is an expression whose figurative meaning is different from its literal meaning. For instance, to rub someone the wrong way means you’ve annoyed someone, not that you suck at giving massages.Continue reading “Idioms for Dummies”
Things to Know Before Moving to Utah
So you’ve been suckered in by the astounding beauty, the majestic mountains and the plethora of frozen yogurt shops. You’ve decided to relocate to The Beehive State (which is an apt motto since everyone here is basically a drone trying to get buzzed). But before you take the leap and immerse yourself in Utah culture,Continue reading “Things to Know Before Moving to Utah”
Thankful to Have Been ‘Just a Mom’
(The creatures who made me a mom.) For years I was just a mom. When people asked what I did for a living, I’d respond, “I’m just a stay-at-home mom.” Ironically, I was never home. I was shuttling kids to and from softball, swimming, dance, school and the mall. I spent approximately 20 years living inContinue reading “Thankful to Have Been ‘Just a Mom’”
Top 5 Ways Star Wars Changed My Life
I was 9 years old when I met Princess Leia. I was instantly smitten. It was 1977 and Star Wars had just hit the big screen, bringing with it top-notch special effects, a kick-butt soundtrack and the Force. I left the theater with a lump in my throat because I wanted it to be realContinue reading “Top 5 Ways Star Wars Changed My Life”
May Movie Previews
The country is experiencing a drought. Not the “Oh, we have no water,” kind of drought; the “Oh, there have been no good movies for months and my brain needs something stimulating, provocative and intelligent to watch before it liquefies and leaks out of my nostrils.” That kind of drought. The last movie I sawContinue reading “May Movie Previews”
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