With the box-office success of the badly-dialogued Battleship, I thought I’d give board-game-based screenplay writing a try. (Vote for your favorite. I’ll write it, submit it to Hollywood and watch the cash roll in. Mwahahahaha!) Operation: A medieval doctor with a drinking problem operates on patients without anaesthesia. (Well, the patients aren’t anesthetized.) Since Hugh Laurie isContinue reading “Straight to DVD . . .”
Author Archives: Peri Kinder
Things Driving Me Crazy Today
Wind makes me tense. So does being awake. So when I’m awake on a blustery day, I tend to be easily irritated. Here are the main culprits causing my insanity today. (Wind is NEVER this romantic.) Tank tops with built-in “bras.” Tank top makers, my bosom area doesn’t fit into those stupid built-in Kleenex brasContinue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy Today”
Top 5 Ways to Tell It’s Spring in Utah
Utah is “blessed” to experience all four seasons (deer hunt, basketball, soccer and tourist). But when spring finally arrives (usually around July 22), the weather actually becomes bearable. Translation: I can wear shorts and tank tops without a parka. (You can tell it’s May. Shorts and flip-flops, baby!) Here are the top 5 ways to tell it’sContinue reading “Top 5 Ways to Tell It’s Spring in Utah”
Top 5 Reasons I Hate Tuesdays
Everyone whines and whines about Mondays–but anyone with sense knows the worst day of the week is Tuesday. If the end of the world happens, it will be on a Tuesday. Guaranteed. It’s never a day off work, never a “hump” day and never part of an extended weekend, unless that Monday-night party left you incapacitated.Continue reading “Top 5 Reasons I Hate Tuesdays”
Things Driving Me Crazy Today
I’m usually so mild-mannered and relaxed. But once in a while, my knickers get twisted and I get highly irrational. This is one of those times. These are things twisting my knickers today: North Korea. Just ’cause. My bathroom scale. I’m pretty sure it’s stuck. (I tried bashing it with a hammer, but the numberContinue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy Today”
Yoga vs. Cardio Blast
For several years I taught an early morning yoga class on Wednesdays. What a great way to start the day!! Unfortunately, very few people felt the same way–and my class was cancelled. (Death to change!) But NOW my boss has me teaching a Cardio Blast, high-intensity interval class at 5:45 on Wednesday mornings that involvesContinue reading “Yoga vs. Cardio Blast”
Top 5 Reasons to Be Happy Today
Society tends to be pessimistic. Global warming, higher taxes, the New York Jets and Mitt Romney cause dark clouds to form in our brains. But, look at the bright side! Cheer up! Turn that frown upside down! Spoonful of sugar! Blah, blah, blah! Here are some reasons to be happy today: 1–It’s A New Beginning: So,Continue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Be Happy Today”
Egg-stra Fun Easter Traditions
It’s Easter-time again. Tulips are blooming. Birds are singing. Czech men are beating their wives with pussy-willows. Yep. That’s right. Pussy-willow whippin’ is just one of many strange Easter traditions from around the globe. The idea is, pussy-willow whips will bring health and youth to anyone who is smacked with them. Don’t knock it. I mightContinue reading “Egg-stra Fun Easter Traditions”
Top 5 Things I Miss About Elementary School
(This is where it all happened.) I attended Viewmont Elementary in Murray, Utah, during the ’70s. I survived this “far out” decade by going to school, watching cartoons, playing outside after dinner until it was too dark to see, eating casseroles and reading until I fell asleep. My kind of life–except the casserole part. Besides readin’, writin’ andContinue reading “Top 5 Things I Miss About Elementary School”
Things I Just Don’t Understand
This isn’t about anti-matter, Morgellon’s disease, the elusive monopole or other mysterious terms people throw out to sound smart. These are just ordinary, daily things that make NO sense to me. Maybe you can help clarify. Why do people at Wal-Mart shuffle their feet? No one strides through Wal-Mart or briskly scans the aisles; it’s a sloth-like, death march,Continue reading “Things I Just Don’t Understand”
perikinder.com 