Society tends to be pessimistic. Global warming, higher taxes, the New York Jets and Mitt Romney cause dark clouds to form in our brains. But, look at the bright side! Cheer up! Turn that frown upside down! Spoonful of sugar! Blah, blah, blah!

Here are some reasons to be happy today:

1–It’s A New Beginning: So, let’s say you’re a serial killer. Have you killed anyone today? Probably not. It’s a great day to start over and move on to better things. Murder is SO beneath you. Or, perhaps, you had an argument with your husband yesterday and spent $2,000 on mall crap. Today’s a new day! Forgive yourself and vow to spend half that much next time.

Moral: Every day is a new chance to be a better person.

(Bury the hatchet on your old habits. So to speak.)

2–You Have More Than Enough: Have you looked in your closet or pantry lately? Chances are they are both overflowing with stuff you never use, such as Healthy Choice soup you vowed to eat for lunch every day, or the cheetah-print high-tops that went so well with your jeggings. Find pleasure in what you already own.

Moral: There’s nothing you need RIGHT NOW.

3–You’re Not Dead: If you spent Easter weekend drinking Peep martinis, you might FEEL like you’re dead–or even WISH you were dead. But chances are, you’re not. You can spend the day not being dead. That involves things like eating Mexican food, watching mindless TV shows and surfing YouTube videos until your brains fall out. But. You’re still not dead.

Moral: Enjoy being alive.

(What being alive is all about.)

4–Today Could be the Best Day of Your Life: The only problem with this statement is that, from now one, every other day you’re alive will suck. Unless you can figure out a way to make every day even better than the one before. But that’s freakin’ stressful.

Moral: Resign yourself to having a GREAT day, but not the BEST day.

5–Follow Your Destiny:  As every feel-good guru will tell you–you can do anything! Want to hunt unicorns while riding a T-Rex? Done. Ready to win the lottery so you can solve world hunger? Not a problem. If that’s your destiny, all will be well. Unfortunately, most destinies involve working at a low- to mid-paying jobs, hating your co-workers and living from paycheck to paycheck until you die.

Moral: Keep your destiny realistic. Then you can’t be disappointed.

(Hey, little unicorn. We’re not going to hurt you. . .)

There. Don’t you feel happier already? It’s like magic.