Peri Kinder

Top 5 Ways For Americans to Pull it Together

I read news headlines with increasing horror. Not because of the atrocious acts committed by people with more weapons than brains, but by the reaction of our country (the freakin’ United States of America!!). After the tragedies in Paris and San Bernardino, some Americans are called for an end to accepting refugees fleeing from war. WAR! Women,Continue reading “Top 5 Ways For Americans to Pull it Together”

Utah 2015: A Recap

Utah survived another year but several significant events made headlines, including Mormon preppers convinced the world was coming to an end on Sept. 28. Didn’t happen. But here are some things that did happen: President Obama visits Utah In a token gesture to our super-white, super-conservative and super-Republican state, President Barack Obama reluctantly stepped off anContinue reading “Utah 2015: A Recap”

Getting in My Pants

When I was in kindergarten, I only wore dresses because I was a princess, dammit! My mom whipped up dresses on her Singer sewing machine and I’d fluff around class, mocking the girls who were low enough to wear (gasp) pants. (I was a precocious little snot.) But a field trip to the zoo changedContinue reading “Getting in My Pants”

An Open Letter to Santa 2015

Dear St. Nick, I know you’re busy with all your dashing and dancing and prancing and vixing, and I know you have mall appearances, party stops, photo ops, elf control, reindeer upkeep and sleigh polishing, not to mention Mrs. Claus’ to-do-list. So I thought I’d help you out by putting together a Naughty/Nice list thatContinue reading “An Open Letter to Santa 2015”

A Brief History of Children

When silly, old Eve chose wisdom over nudity in the garden of Eden, what was her punishment? That she would be fruitful and multiply. In non-biblical words, she was doomed to have children. Seems like the penalty didn’t really fit the crime. Did she understand, as she grew rounder and larger and moodier, that a parasitic growth wasContinue reading “A Brief History of Children”

Just Smile: An R-Rated Rant

Men. Reading this blog could save you from being murdered to death by your spouse, sister, mother or female co-worker. If at any point in your life you walked by a woman, noticed her expression and told her to smile, you are in extreme danger. I’m not shitting you. Your coffee is probably being poisonedContinue reading “Just Smile: An R-Rated Rant”

Halloween for Dummies: Top 5 Tips For a Successful Holiday

Some people live in countries (or states) where Halloween is ignored because people believe it’s based on Satanic rituals and pagan beliefs. They might have a small Jesus-themed trunk-or-treat event in a church parking lot, handing out mini New Testaments, before heading home for a family sing-a-long. But in Utah (home of pagan beliefs) we celebrate HalloweenContinue reading “Halloween for Dummies: Top 5 Tips For a Successful Holiday”

Things Driving Me Crazy Today

I realized it’s been a while since I’ve posted a Things Driving Me Crazy Today blog. Does that mean I’m more tolerant of the insane behavior around me? Nope. It just means I’ve been living in frustrated anguish, but once I vomit-blog my list I’ll feel much better. Here are the Things Driving Me CrazyContinue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy Today”

Another World’s End False Alarm

If you’re reading this, the world didn’t end yesterday. Or maybe it did end and your hell is being forced to read my blog for eternity. Anyway. Once again, we’ve survived a predicted apocalypse and I’m getting pretty tired of preparing for the end of the world only to wake up and find that I have toContinue reading “Another World’s End False Alarm”

What’s In My Bag?

Why is it suddenly cool to stick our noses into a celebrity’s carry-all? Fashion magazines devote pages to discovering the secrets in a movie star’s purse. Do you really want to know that Meredith Vieira hauls around dog treats and a machete in her $800 bag? Or do you care that Lady Gaga carries pints ofContinue reading “What’s In My Bag?”