Tuesday. The smelly, unshaven armpit of the week. Here’s the first list of Things Driving Me Crazy in 2016.

• When I walk 15 flights of stairs (because Fitbit) but my gadget only counts nine flights.
• People who don’t shovel snow off their sidewalks and now that snow has turned into mini ice glaciers that I have to climb over when walking Ringo.
• College football.
• Falling off my chair at work. (I wasn’t even drunk!)
• People bragging about keeping their New Year’s resolutions. It’s been 12 days. TWELVE days.
• Not being $900 million richer. Thanks, Powerball.

• Eating something, not because it’s delicious, but because it’s there.
• Sneezing at work. Ten times in a row.
• Writing a freakin’ brilliant blog that nobody reads.
• Not having a personal chef.
• Driving to work in the dark. Driving home from work in the dark. (I just assume the sun rises at some point during the day.)
• The yogurt war between Chobani and Dannon. Isn’t yogurt supposed to be the Gandhi of dairy products?
• Finishing Terry Pratchett’s final book. This isn’t driving me crazy. Just making me sad.

(The world just got a little less funny. RIP Sir Pratchett.)

Hopefully, your Tuesday can now continue crazy-free.