I realized it’s been a while since I’ve posted a Things Driving Me Crazy Today blog. Does that mean I’m more tolerant of the insane behavior around me? Nope. It just means I’ve been living in frustrated anguish, but once I vomit-blog my list I’ll feel much better.

Here are the Things Driving Me Crazy Today (and by “today” I mean anytime during the last four decades):

• When you lose one earring but don’t realize it until you get home.
• People looking at you weird because you’re only wearing one earring. But you don’t know why they’re looking at you weird.
• Working through lunch, thinking of all the calories you just saved–and then binge eating the pantry when you get home.

• Running with my crazy-ass dog Ringo when he decides to take a sharp left turn right in front of me so I have to do a quasi-spastic almost-hurdle over his body to avoid face-planting on the asphalt.
• Being at a business conference where people take their jobs WAY too seriously.
• That ONE person who has to keep asking questions or making comments when the workshop is already over and people want to leave and go get lunch, dammit!
• When my sock slips off my heel and lodges under my instep while I’m exercising.
• When you use a public toilet, but it’s about a foot lower than you think it’s going to be and you fall onto the seat.
• Waving back at someone in the gym before realizing they weren’t waving at you. (Turn that wave into a ponytail check.)

(Oh, you weren’t waving at me? Awkward.)

• When you’re at work with two hours to go and you only have two things to do: a project that will take three hours or one that will take 20 minutes.
• Books that suck.
• Eating taffy. Having it pull a filling loose. Ditto for Bit o’ Honey.
• When you bring up a website where a LOUD video automatically starts playing–and you can’t find it to shut it off!