If you are speaking to, dating, married to or just looking at a woman, there’s a good chance (100%) that she’s just finished a diet, just started a diet, is cheating on a diet or will be starting a diet tomorrow. There’s never a time women don’t think about food/calories/dress sizes/exercise/futility. If you are a sensitive-type person,Continue reading “Terrible Things to Say to Someone on a Diet”
Tag Archives: Humor
Things Driving Me Crazy in San Francisco
I recently went to San Francisco with hubby, and we packed every minute with activities, food and fun. Now I’m exhausted. Along with exhaustion, here are a few things that drove me crazy in San Francisco. (I’m not sure about my heart, but I definitely left most of my income in San Fran.) Scalded Mouth:Continue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy in San Francisco”
How to Raise a Royal Child
Now that all the hoopla has died down about the birth of The Royal Baby of the Universe (aka Prince George of Cambridge), we can take a step back and be grateful we’re not raising a royal child. Granted, some children are royal pains in the neither-regions, but that’s not quite the same. (One day yourContinue reading “How to Raise a Royal Child”
Things Driving Me Crazy Today
Another Tuesday has dawned, and with it, the sneaking feeling that it could be a really long day. In order to waste time, therefore cutting down on actual Tuesday activities, I created the latest list of Things Driving Me Crazy Today. (Too lazy to deal with Tuesday.) Feel free to add on. When you drinkContinue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy Today”
How to Survive a Road Trip
Hubbie and I hit the road last weekend to attend an economic summit in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. (I know, you’re supremely jealous.) Having driven this stretch of road before, I knew I could expect miles and miles of boring scenery–cows, barbed wire, more cows, weathered barns, did I mention cows? Packing for a road tripContinue reading “How to Survive a Road Trip”
Top 5 Steps to Buying a Car
At the risk of whining about a first-world problem; buying a car sucks. Watching your previous car go up in flames sucks, too. But after the flames cooled on my Buick, I realized I had to face the clichéd car salesman. I considered the “get drunk and obnoxious” plan, but opted to go in with an open mind andContinue reading “Top 5 Steps to Buying a Car”
Best Reasons to Have a Birthday
Today’s my birthday! (I accept gift cards, cash or traveler’s checks.) I’ve always had a child-like love for birthdays–mainly because I like presents, cake and spankings. And even though I’m turning 45 (?!?!), I’m still kickin’. (And, by “kickin’” I mean I can get dressed without help, and feed myself. Usually.) Here are the best reasons to turnContinue reading “Best Reasons to Have a Birthday”
Top 5 Signs I Shouldn’t Be A Gardener
Everywhere I look, flowers are blooming. Unless I look at my yard, where plants are held hostage in my little death camp garden. I can not grow things. I’m like a foliage serial killer–without the cool TV series. (“The hedges needed a little. . . trimming.”) Some people use gardening as meditation, working the soil, feeling the freshContinue reading “Top 5 Signs I Shouldn’t Be A Gardener”
Top 5 Cool Things About My Dad
One year, mom bought dad a hammock for Father’s Day. As kids, we thought it was the perfect gift, and immediately took it over. I don’t remember dad lying in it–ever. Not because it was filled with kids, but because he was always tinkering, repairing, fiddling (not the music kind), mending or inventing. He always had something on the drawing board.Continue reading “Top 5 Cool Things About My Dad”
How to Tell if the CIA is Tracking You
Maybe those people with the tinfoil hats were right. I guess you’ve heard the claims that the U.S. Government used electronic surveillance to track “terrorists.” My first thought was, “Duh.” I assumed the CIA tracked us from the moment of our birth. But maybe tinfoil does keep the government from reading your mind. Because that’sContinue reading “How to Tell if the CIA is Tracking You”
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