Another Tuesday has dawned, and with it, the sneaking feeling that it could be a really long day. In order to waste time, therefore cutting down on actual Tuesday activities, I created the latest list of Things Driving Me Crazy Today.

(Too lazy to deal with Tuesday.)

Feel free to add on.

• When you drink a big glass of milk, and discover the bottom of the glass was coated with disgusting dishwasher residue.
• The person who told me, “I read your latest blog. It was really funny. You should try adding humor more often.” Sigh.
• Being too full to eat dessert. (Amended: too full to ENJOY dessert.)
• That little line of dirt left next to the dust pan that REFUSES to be swept up.

(I usually end up casually spreading it around with my foot.)

• The plastic or ribbon loops that hang off the armpits of shirts. (They tend to creep out of my shirt and hang under my arms.)
• Weeds.
• When someone adjusts the driver’s seat/mirrors in my car. It’s PERFECT! Leave it the hell alone!
• When the first square of toilet paper is super-glued to the roll. I end up shredding the first five layers of toilet paper before it starts working.
• When someone eats the last bowl of raspberries. (They should be burned at the stake!!)
• Feeling inferior at the farmer’s market. (Organic, free-range vegans seem SO superior.)

• Any sentence that includes the words “Congress,” “sequester” (which is NOT a noun, folks!), “lawmakers” or “kale.”
• The fact there were Halloween decorations in the store this weekend. It’s freakin’ July!!!!
• The stubble on my knees I just can’t seem to shave.

That’s it for today. Now I’m sure my Tuesday will flow swimmingly.

• BONUS: People who use the word “swimmingly.”