Shelved between the gory chaos of Halloween and the rabid excess of Christmas, Thanksgiving gets no respect. It’s the Rodney Dangerfield of holidays. (Google him, you young punks.) Is it because we’re not grateful? Is it because no one really likes stuffing and cranberries? Here’s my hypothesis regarding Thanksgiving’s no-respect status. We’re too busy formulating Black Friday plans. ItContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons Thanksgiving Gets No Respect”
Author Archives: Peri Kinder
Top 5 Humor Writing Tips
People sometimes ask me, “How do you write funny?” I’m not sure if they mean my writing is humorous or the way I write is hilarious. So, I usually stare at these people until they wander off. If they’re asking how I come up with funny topics and put them on paper (or screen), I share myContinue reading “Top 5 Humor Writing Tips”
American Horror Story
It’s finally here: Election Day 2016. The day dawned like any normal Tuesday, which means it sucked from the get-go. Of course it’s gone steadily downhill. We’ve endured it all. Hillary’s the Antichrist. Secretary Clinton with her emails and evil foundation with world leaders in her pocket; with her disingenuous smile and faux love for all mankind.Continue reading “American Horror Story”
Things I’m Not Going to Do Today
People are obsessed with to-do lists. I don’t get it. Why start your day with an entire page of things you MUST get done before your head can hit the pillow at night? Sounds like a recipe for madness. Here’s what I do instead: I make a list of things I refuse to do soContinue reading “Things I’m Not Going to Do Today”
Things Driving Me Crazy Today
Let’s see. So much to choose from. Between the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Election 2016 and the upcoming Catastrophonic Winter, there’s no end to what’s driving me crazy. But to spare you hours of reading time, I narrowed it down to these: When I wake up five minutes before the alarm goes off. When I realizeContinue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy Today”
Here’s Why I Vote
Choosing a presidential candidate this election is equivalent to deciding which type of knife you want to stab into your eyeball. As South Park creators so eloquently put it, we’re choosing between a “Big Douche and a Turd Sandwich”. In Utah, where most of our representatives lean white and right, it’s frustrating to see the sameContinue reading “Here’s Why I Vote”
The Truth is Out There
At the risk of losing the respect of 89 percent of the human race, I have to admit my guilty pleasure: watching Ancient Aliens. It’s so amazingly serious, with its deadpan narration and “authentic” illustrations, that you can’t help but step inside its lunacy. According to the show, pretty much everything on this planet has been createdContinue reading “The Truth is Out There”
Top 5 Things I Will Do Before Accepting Your Party Invitation
As a high-functioning introvert, I’ve trained myself to attend public events without breaking out in hives, shutting myself away in the bathroom or yelling at people to “Just stop with the talking, already!!” But social interaction isn’t high on my to-do list. In fact, I can think of at least 50 things I will do beforeContinue reading “Top 5 Things I Will Do Before Accepting Your Party Invitation”
Top 5 Things I’ve Learned by Going Gluten-free
I never wanted to be one of THOSE people who had to tell everyone, from family members to strangers at Walmart, about their gluten intolerance. I didn’t want to be one of THOSE people who read all the food ingredients, interrogated waiters at restaurants until they cried, and then babbled on and on and on about theirContinue reading “Top 5 Things I’ve Learned by Going Gluten-free”
Deep Thoughts From the 2016 Summer Olympic Games
Besides the super-human performances, the world-record-breaking finishes and the crazy intense tracking of mosquitos and water in Rio de Janeiro at the Summer Olympics, I found myself asking the following questions. (At least until my husband told me to stop talking and just watch, for @#$@’s sake. Geesh.) (Unofficial mascot of the Summer Games in Rio.)Continue reading “Deep Thoughts From the 2016 Summer Olympic Games”
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