Today’s blog is for children across the country who are pretty sure time has stopped completely. I know you think Christmas will NEVER come, but rest-assured you’ll be screaming around the Christmas tree in no time. Here are some tips to surviving the next 8 days without going bananas: Be patient with your parents. They have forgotten howContinue reading “Kids’ Guide to Surviving December”
Tag Archives: Christmas
A Martha Stewart Christmas
Martha Stewart and I could be twins. She’d be the perfect, talented twin, and I’d be the evil, slightly disturbed counterpart who tried to eat her in the womb. We just have SO much in common. I picked up the latest Martha Stewart Living magazine at the library (I’m not paying for that) and foundContinue reading “A Martha Stewart Christmas”
How to Tell if You Have Holiday Stress
Maybe you haven’t noticed, but Christmas is fast approaching. Along with shopping, partying, trying not to gain 20 pounds, finding the perfect present for your crotchety neighbor, and avoiding those guilt-inducing Salvation Army bell ringers, stress levels are at an all-time high. There’s a good chance you’ll find yourself in a department store with absolutely noContinue reading “How to Tell if You Have Holiday Stress”
Stages of Utah Snow
Snow sucks. I don’t care if you ski. I don’t care if you snowboard. I don’t care if you live in an igloo. There is no reason for snow to fall before winter officially starts–and don’t give me the, “Well, we need water to live” argument. Wah, wah, wah. Unfortunately, I live in Utah. Also,Continue reading “Stages of Utah Snow”
One Fruitcake Away From a Christmas Meltdown
(Fruitcake: The ultimate Christmas deception. Looks good. Tastes like s***.) Maybe you haven’t heard, but tomorrow is Christmas. The day when high expectations are smashed against the fiscal cliff. The day when children cry because they didn’t get the RIGHT Barbie doll or video game. (Greedy bastards.) We dash through the month, doing our shopping,Continue reading “One Fruitcake Away From a Christmas Meltdown”
Holiday Party Survival Guide
Anyone who knows me is aware that I’m socially inept. Parties, get-togethers, mingles–whatever you want to call it, social interaction gives me hives. I could kick myself for not taking that “How to Make Small Talk” class at the local community college. (That awkward moment when everybody has said they are “fine”, and there’s nothing elseContinue reading “Holiday Party Survival Guide”
Top 5 Things I Don’t Want For Christmas
I’m not inherently greedy. And I don’t mean to be bossy. But there are a few things I REALLY don’t want to find in my stocking, or under my tree, on Christmas morning. Clothes That Don’t Fit: Whether it’s too-tight jeans (Hey, you bought them. Now you have to watch me wear them) or too-small lingerie (yesContinue reading “Top 5 Things I Don’t Want For Christmas”
Holiday Things Driving Me Crazy Today
I know this time of year is loco. I know it can be frustrating. And I’m sure more murders are committed in December than any other time of year. (That’s the Spirit of Christmas for you.) (Look at all the happy Christmas people.) So I TRY to be patient while children shriek, shoppers cut in line,Continue reading “Holiday Things Driving Me Crazy Today”
Holiday Decorations That Need to Go!
I’m very specific when it comes to holiday decorating. First, NO Christmas decorations can go up before Thanksgiving. Not even a tiny candy cane. Second, Christmas shouldn’t equal tacky. (O Holy S**t! Do not stare directly into the display.) I’m not the Martha Stewart of holiday decorating, but I do draw the line at theContinue reading “Holiday Decorations That Need to Go!”
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