Remember those field trips in first grade where the bus smelled like urine, the children screamed songs and teachers were frazzled? Well, I just relived that experience when I chaperoned my grandson’s class to the aquarium. (There was NOT a Loch Ness monster in our aquarium. Feeling gypped.) Now, my grandson is perfect. That’s allContinue reading “To Hell and Back”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Vote For PK!
Since today is President’s Day, I stopped to think how much it would suck to be president of the U.S. Talk about making NOBODY happy. But there MUST be perks to being prez or no one would bother to run every four years. Here are the top things that would make it cool to be president. Absolute Power!Continue reading “Vote For PK!”
Romance 101
(When saying “No” just isn’t enough.) Ah, yes. It’s time for another round of “How much do you love me?” a.k.a. Valentine’s Day. This day is the true test of timeless love, eternal heartshapes and air kisses. And if you FAIL? (Sad, slow shake of the head.) (To celebrate, I’ve found some AWESOME V-Day cardsContinue reading “Romance 101”
Getting Nailed
If eyes are the windows to the soul, the feet must be the smelly, damp cellar. I used to take the time (and cash) to treat my feet to a pedicure twice a month. It’s like airing out that musty cellar and removing the mold. Then, to save money, I cut back to once every three weeks–andContinue reading “Getting Nailed”
Versatile Blogger?
I’ve been called many things (usually accompanied by a waving of the middle finger) but I’ve never been called versatile. But thanks to The Gratitude Garden blog, I’ve been nominated for the Versatile blogger award. Thanks so much for the nomination–and now the pressure to keep writing funny AND versatile blogs for the rest ofContinue reading “Versatile Blogger?”
Why the World Won’t End This Year
(And if you read it backwards, it says “Yadsmood 2102.” Eerie, isn’t it?) In a very Grinch-like move, the Mayans have chosen to ruin Christmas this year by predicting the end of the world. ACTUALLY, they didn’t predict the world ending–their day planner just got filled up. But if they’re right, Dec. 21 (which happens to ruin myContinue reading “Why the World Won’t End This Year”
Required List of New Year’s Resolutions 2012
Besides taking up smoking, drinking margaritas, spending food money on shoes and increasing the sugar in my diet, I’ve been trying to think up ways to improve my already incredible life. (Should be a glamorous 2012.) Just like in November, when bloggers are required to compose a gratitude list, in January, we are required to make public our New Year’s resolutions. IContinue reading “Required List of New Year’s Resolutions 2012”
Why Santa Didn’t Bring Me a Lexus
I kept my hopes up all through Christmas Eve. I didn’t give up when I woke up and there wasn’t a new car in the driveway. I kept the faith and KNEW that Santa would be driving up in my black IS 350 Lexus convertible at any time. I waited. And waited. And waited. AndContinue reading “Why Santa Didn’t Bring Me a Lexus”
What’s Hanging On My Tree
If your Christmas tree is a perfectly-shaped, fake evergreen garnished with gold, silver and magenta, and decorated within an inch of its perfect life, this blog is not for you. (This is like the supermodels of Christmas trees. My tree has a self-esteem problem next to this glorious creation.) Our family’s Christmas tree is the perfect exampleContinue reading “What’s Hanging On My Tree”
Christmas Toys to Avoid
Love your kids? Don’t buy them any of these toys–unless you are raising blood-thirsty, stuffed animal-obssessed, tattoo ninjas from hell. Which I am. Power Rangers Megablade: Your little hero will love the real-life disemboweling action of this sword. The megablade not only swings open–but it extends two feet long! Your little serial killer can stab someone fromContinue reading “Christmas Toys to Avoid”
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