Why Santa Didn’t Bring Me a Lexus

I kept my hopes up all through Christmas Eve. I didn’t give up when I woke up and there wasn’t a new car in the driveway. I kept the faith and KNEW that Santa would be driving up in my black IS 350 Lexus convertible at any time.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And slowly my spirits were dashed against those Christmas rocks of reality. I hadn’t been that depressed since General Mills stopped making Sprinkle Spangles breakfast cereal.

(“Spangled every angle with sprinkles!”)

So I stayed in bed all day Monday trying to figure out what I had done, what sin I had committed, that would keep Santa from giving me my Lexus. In no particular order, I:

  • Threw a fit when I lost at Rack-O. Also, tennis, Clue, Chutes and Ladders, and Memory. (My 3-year-old granddaughter cheats.)
  • Wore white after Labor Day.
  • Didn’t return my overdue library book until I finished it.
  • Told my grandkids the SpongeBob SquarePants channel was broken.

(WAAAYYY too much intensity. Tone it down, Bob.)

  • Told my grandkids my TV was broken.
  • Didn’t give $1 to the homeless guy by the freeway
  • Ate all the cookie dough and blamed the dog
  • Stayed on the elliptical longer than my alloted 35 minutes. (How can I lose weight in 35 minutes?!?)
  • Watched YouTube videos about kittens instead of working.

I didn’t think these sins were particularly nasty–especially when there were LOTS of things I WANTED to do–but didn’t. But I guess they added up to one big empty driveway. Starting today, or maybe next week, I’ll be good.

4 thoughts on “Why Santa Didn’t Bring Me a Lexus

  1. In all fairness: that video of the cat and baby made me happier than a lexus ever could. That’s just my opinion though.


  2. Better luck next year!


  3. Be good next week 🙂 I think Santa is on holiday now so he will never no! Or at least that’s the rule I am sticking to! Good call on Sponge Bob Squarepants!


  4. Oh dear. Best pay for your sins the coming year so that you can have two Lexus cars next Christmas. At least.


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