Packing gives me hives. Not the “carrying a loaded pistol” kind of packing, but the “leaving for New Orleans for sightseeing, meetings and banquets” kind of packing. I know you’re all, “Oh, poor Peri has to go to Bourbon Street. Wah. Wah. Wah.” But knock it off! Here are the top five reasons I’m no goodContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons I’m No Good At Packing”
Category Archives: Top 5 Lists
Top 5 Reasons I Worry About the Future
Children are our future. Of course, with Congress right now, children are also our present. Have we done a good job teaching our kids what they need to know to run this world? Here are some potential stumbling blocks that maybe should be addressed before the kids take over: 1. No communication skills. This generationContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons I Worry About the Future”
Top 5 Reasons I Hate the Hospital
Against my better judgement, I recently spent a wonderfully pleasant afternoon at the local emergency room being poked and prodded. Cost: $250. Diagnosis: A shrug of the shoulders and a “Who knows?” Sitting in my lovely hospital gown, I pondered all the reasons I hate hospitals and came up with the following list: #1. UrineContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons I Hate the Hospital”
Top 5 Reasons Utah’s Liquor Laws Are Screwed Up
Utah has a well-earned reputation for having screwed-up liquor laws. Thank heavens state officials are perpetuating that reputation. Our guv just appointed another non-drinker to the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control. That’s like putting a non-driver in charge of transportation. Or a virgin in charge of brothel regulation. Just sayin’. Anyway, here are the top 5 reasonsContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons Utah’s Liquor Laws Are Screwed Up”
Top 5 Reasons to Avoid Getting Old
Yep. Today’s my birthday. As much as I love presents, cake and adoration from my friend and most of my family members, I don’t want to get any older. But I don’t want to die, either. Kind of a lose-lose situation. I haven’t reached the hearing aid, support hose, wandering off, false teeth, stool softeners,Continue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Avoid Getting Old”
Top 5 Reasons to Get Off Facebook
You know you’ll never do it. I won’t either. But if you’re looking for reasons to delete your Facebook account, here’s a few to ponder. (Note: it’s physically impossible to delete your account. Layers of pissed-off warning boxes jump at you when you try to leave and eventually Mark Zuckerberg–or it might be Jesse Eisenberg–will personallyContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Get Off Facebook”
Top 5 Reasons to Skip My Annual Exam
Each spring, along with flooding and allergies, I get to enjoy a Trip to My Gynecologist! I recently edured this annual event and have vowed to never go again. Here’s why: #1 The Awkward Hoo-Ha Examination: After I’ve stripped down to nothing and wrapped myself in a generic blue sheet, my doctor decides to makeContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Skip My Annual Exam”
Top 5 Reasons I Won’t Vote for Mitt Romney
It’s official. Former Massachusetts governor, former Olympic savior, former presidential loser Mitt Romney is, once again, running for president. Sigh. Does EVERY republican have to run for president? Here are the Top 5 Reasons Why I Just Can’t Bring Myself to Vote for Boy Wonder: #1: He reminds me too much of Guy Smiley–the suave,Continue reading “Top 5 Reasons I Won’t Vote for Mitt Romney”
Top 5 Reasons the World Didn’t End
Apocalypse Later You might have heard the world was supposed to end a few days ago. I think news of our demise was premature. But Harold Camping, the 89-year-old Christian leader who predicted world’s end, is nowhere to be found. Was he taken to heaven in the Rapture? Is he hiding out at Baskin-Robbins, eatingContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons the World Didn’t End”
Top 5 Reasons to Eat Chocolate Today
When I want chocolate–I want it immediately! No running to the store. No searching through cabinets. No whipping up a batch of brownies. A chocolate craving can hit at anytime of the day or night, so it’s best to be prepared with some good, quality chocolate that your spouse and kids will never find. ThatContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Eat Chocolate Today”
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