I was 9 years old when I met Princess Leia. I was instantly smitten. It was 1977 and Star Wars had just hit the big screen, bringing with it top-notch special effects, a kick-butt soundtrack and the Force. I left the theater with a lump in my throat because I wanted it to be realContinue reading “Top 5 Ways Star Wars Changed My Life”
Category Archives: Top 5 Lists
Top 5 Reasons to Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day
Happy St. Paddy’s Day to all you temporary Irish Catholics using this celebration as a day to drink green beer and pinch people. For generations, March 17 has been set aside to honor St. Patrick who (according to legend) chased all of Ireland’s snakes into the ocean, turned water into green beer, wore clothes made ofContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day”
Top 5 Reasons I’ll Never Run For Office
Presidential candidates are sharpening their knives, honing their wit and polishing up their toothy smiles. With a possible Romney/Bush/Palin ticket, what could possibly go wrong? I have no desire to run for office. Zero. Zip. Nada. I’ve been watching the hilarious sitcom, Veep, where I’ve learned all kinds of ways to insert swear words into everyday conversation.Continue reading “Top 5 Reasons I’ll Never Run For Office”
Top 5 Fashion Trends I’ll Never Wear
Each year I pick up magazines showing the “must have fashions”. This year’s fall season’s Games of Thrones-inspired clothing lines include flowing cloaks, fur-lined jackets and bloody swords. (Disclaimer: I was wearing a vest with a fur-lined collar and Ringo the Dog sat next to me, judging me, and saying, “Hey, Cruella. You gonna skin me, too? YouContinue reading “Top 5 Fashion Trends I’ll Never Wear”
Top 5 Steps for Handling an Awkward Conversation
We’ve covered the fact that I’m socially-disabled. I went into a sandwich shop for a turkey sub and the professional sandwich maker said she’d gone to high school with me. I’m terrible at remembering faces, so I asked her name. She said, “Remember? I’m so-and-so, from over by the junior high?” The name jiggled my memory slightly, but IContinue reading “Top 5 Steps for Handling an Awkward Conversation”
Top 5 Jobs Where I Would Suck
Someone asked me what my dream job would be. The ones that come to mind are a) best-selling author, b) world-traveling yoga instructor, and c) Girl Scout cookie tester. There has to be a job that encompasses all that. Right? Here are several jobs I could never do: Anything involving numbers: Math might as wellContinue reading “Top 5 Jobs Where I Would Suck”
Top 5 Reasons to Avoid Parking Lots
When you’re 16 and handed a driver’s license, everything is fresh and lovely and exciting and free! You have no idea how much you’ll come to hate driving within a few years. No one tells you the real stress of driving doesn’t come from tailgaters, speed-demons or police lights in the rearview mirror. Real driving stress comes inContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Avoid Parking Lots”
Top 5 Things Driving Me Crazy At The Ballet
When I was five, I decided to be a ballerina. However, Ballet West wasn’t hiring kindergarteners, so I had to put my dream on hold for a while. But I danced. I danced for eight more years before realizing most ballerinas weren’t 5’9″ with size 10 feet. It was a horrible moment when I understood IContinue reading “Top 5 Things Driving Me Crazy At The Ballet”
Top 5 Steps to Organizing Your Home
When I’m snowbound (think “The Shining”), I like to clear out my cluttered spaces; because clutter=claustrophobia=really grumpy Peri. (If he would have de-cluttered instead of going all murder-rage, he would have enjoyed winter a little more.) January is a great time to clean out the house. You’ve got cool new Christmas presents to find places for,Continue reading “Top 5 Steps to Organizing Your Home”
Top 5 Ways to Increase Blog Traffic (Sex)
Is your mother the only person reading your blog? Are you posting spammed comments so you look popular? Do you wish you could attract more people to your site? Well, today’s your lucky day. Sex. By incorporating these Top 5 suggestions, your blog should reach at least two people by the end of November. 1. UseContinue reading “Top 5 Ways to Increase Blog Traffic (Sex)”
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