If Tuesday was a superhero, it would be StupidMan. Here’s what’s got my socks in a bunch this Tuesday: When you get out the toaster and the crumb tray opens and spills all over the floor. The man who drove down our street, driving with his left hand, and holding a baby in his rightContinue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy Today”
Tag Archives: Life
Are You Too Old To Trick or Treat?
I don’t ask for ID when someone shows up on my doorstep begging for candy–as long as it’s Halloween. I don’t care if you’re a gangsta teen, a middle-aged mom, a 2-day-old baby or even that creepy 30-something guy who’s always hanging around the park. I’ll give anyone candy–because it’s CANDY! Everyone loves candy! ButContinue reading “Are You Too Old To Trick or Treat?”
Halloween Candy Personality Quiz
Leave it to Facebook to help you determine which U.S. President you are, what horror monster you’d be, your favorite color and if you’ve ever attended college. Online quizzes are the new GED; and you know you’ve taken at least one (dozen). I thought I’d create a quiz to determine what your Halloween candy behavior saysContinue reading “Halloween Candy Personality Quiz”
Top 5 Fashion Trends I’ll Never Wear
Each year I pick up magazines showing the “must have fashions”. This year’s fall season’s Games of Thrones-inspired clothing lines include flowing cloaks, fur-lined jackets and bloody swords. (Disclaimer: I was wearing a vest with a fur-lined collar and Ringo the Dog sat next to me, judging me, and saying, “Hey, Cruella. You gonna skin me, too? YouContinue reading “Top 5 Fashion Trends I’ll Never Wear”
Ringo’s Healthy-Living Advice
Ringo the Dog has weighed exactly 84.9 pounds for the last three years. Luckily, he’s a border collie/lab and not a Chihuahua, or he’d be an incredibly huge mutant. I could learn a lot from Ringo about creating a healthy lifestyle–if I cared to do that sort of thing. When he and I were discussing the subject,Continue reading “Ringo’s Healthy-Living Advice”
Picture Day: Where Dysfunctional Thinking Begins
School children across the country endured a Picture Day this month. No problem for boys. They throw on their least smelly shirt, run a mousse-covered comb through their hair and walk in the rain to school. Girls spend most of the month agonizing about this one day each year when their looks will be documented forContinue reading “Picture Day: Where Dysfunctional Thinking Begins”
Things Driving Me Crazy Today
Didn’t we just survive Tuesday one week ago? It’s back already? There are only two ways to keep it together on Tuesday: 1) Go back to bed, or 2) hear me whine about what’s driving me crazy today. Standing in line at Café Rio, silently practicing my order. When the dishwasher breaks and I think, that’s okay, washing dishesContinue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy Today”
Concert Stage Fright
I was a teenage mom, so I spent my high school years changing diapers and watching Sesame Street. As a result, I missed the whole “going to a concert” event that, I guess, is some rite of passage into adulthood. During these concerts, certain behaviors are taught that I never had the chance to learn. (IContinue reading “Concert Stage Fright”
It’s. Still. Summer.
There are people out there (yes, I’m talking to you), who love to discuss the waning days of summer; who anticipate the slow dimming of the sun as society returns to a state of hibernation. To these people, I say, “Shut the hell up.” The only thing that gets me through stupid Utah winters, is theContinue reading “It’s. Still. Summer.”
Back to School Tips
Let’s all take a moment to observe a moment of silence as millions of kids return to school after a long summer vacation. Now, let’s raise a glass of champagne that millions of kids have returned to school after a long summer vacation! Parents everywhere are facing that double-emotion “giddy/sad” as they miss their kids,Continue reading “Back to School Tips”
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