We’ve covered the fact that I’m socially-disabled. I went into a sandwich shop for a turkey sub and the professional sandwich maker said she’d gone to high school with me. I’m terrible at remembering faces, so I asked her name. She said, “Remember? I’m so-and-so, from over by the junior high?” The name jiggled my memory slightly, but IContinue reading “Top 5 Steps for Handling an Awkward Conversation”
Tag Archives: Humor
Things Driving Me Crazy Today
Dear Tuesday, I hope you crack your shins on the coffee table of life. Here are the things driving me crazy today: Feeling like an uneducated redneck at the farmer’s market. Do vendors take classes in snobbishness? Trying on swimming suits. Tip to merchants: light dressing rooms with candles–not flickering fluorescent bulbs. Getting stuck in aContinue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy Today”
Land of The Free
America is a land of contradictions. We have some of the most brilliant scientists in the world, but on the other hand we have . . . well . . . Arkansas. The same country that brought you Cosmos and Planet Earth also presents you with Swamp People and The Bachelor. But that’s what makes AmericaContinue reading “Land of The Free”
Confessions of an Introvert
For readers of my blog, it should come as no surprise that I’m an introvert. With posts like Top 5 Reasons to Become a Hermit, Stores That Overwhelm Me, The Holiday Party Survival Guide or Reasons to Stay in Bed Today, you really should have guessed. But being an introvert does not mean I’m mousy, shy or a littleContinue reading “Confessions of an Introvert”
Much More Than a Bathroom
I read that women spend 1.5 years in the bathroom, over the course of a lifetime. That can’t be true. It has to be much longer. For women (especially moms), a bathroom is a refuge, reading room, mini-spa, hiding place for chocolate (behind the unused bottles of dry shampoo) and crying lounge. So 18 months seemsContinue reading “Much More Than a Bathroom”
Reality Pageants
Summer brings mosquito bites, melted snow-cones and beauty queens in parades. As a community reporter, I’ve sat through many beauty pageants, cringing as teenage girls offer themselves up for physical, mental and emotional critique. Unless you’re 4-years-old, or were born in Buckingham Palace, tiaras are not everyday accessories. But young women nearly kill themselves toContinue reading “Reality Pageants”
Questions that Keep Me Up at Night
Some nights I can’t sleep. After I stop counting sheep, calculating how many more hours of sleep I could get if I fell asleep immediately, and consider getting up to read (which I don’t because I’m too tired), I start pondering the important questions of life. Not questions like, “If you weren’t scared, what wouldContinue reading “Questions that Keep Me Up at Night”
Things Driving Me Crazy at the Ball Game
From coaching my daughters’ softball teams to watching the SF Giants win the series, baseball is a way to kick back and relax. Well, except the coaching part. That’s just nuts. (Idyllic, right? Except for all the people.) But, as with everything else . . . people ruin s***. The hubbie and I thought we’dContinue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy at the Ball Game”
Top 5 Jobs Where I Would Suck
Someone asked me what my dream job would be. The ones that come to mind are a) best-selling author, b) world-traveling yoga instructor, and c) Girl Scout cookie tester. There has to be a job that encompasses all that. Right? Here are several jobs I could never do: Anything involving numbers: Math might as wellContinue reading “Top 5 Jobs Where I Would Suck”
You Know You’re a Mother If . . .
Mother’s are a special breed. Usually a cross between a Pomeranian and a Black Lab, they are either yapping constantly, or smothering you with love. Once you’re a mom, you do things you never imagined, because kids numb your brain to any kind of higher-thought functions. (Your brain on kids.) About the time your 2-year-oldContinue reading “You Know You’re a Mother If . . .”
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