I read that women spend 1.5 years in the bathroom, over the course of a lifetime. That can’t be true. It has to be much longer. For women (especially moms), a bathroom is a refuge, reading room, mini-spa, hiding place for chocolate (behind the unused bottles of dry shampoo) and crying lounge. So 18 months seemsContinue reading “Much More Than a Bathroom”
Author Archives: Peri Kinder
Reality Pageants
Summer brings mosquito bites, melted snow-cones and beauty queens in parades. As a community reporter, I’ve sat through many beauty pageants, cringing as teenage girls offer themselves up for physical, mental and emotional critique. Unless you’re 4-years-old, or were born in Buckingham Palace, tiaras are not everyday accessories. But young women nearly kill themselves toContinue reading “Reality Pageants”
Questions that Keep Me Up at Night
Some nights I can’t sleep. After I stop counting sheep, calculating how many more hours of sleep I could get if I fell asleep immediately, and consider getting up to read (which I don’t because I’m too tired), I start pondering the important questions of life. Not questions like, “If you weren’t scared, what wouldContinue reading “Questions that Keep Me Up at Night”
Things Driving Me Crazy at the Ball Game
From coaching my daughters’ softball teams to watching the SF Giants win the series, baseball is a way to kick back and relax. Well, except the coaching part. That’s just nuts. (Idyllic, right? Except for all the people.) But, as with everything else . . . people ruin s***. The hubbie and I thought we’dContinue reading “Things Driving Me Crazy at the Ball Game”
Top 5 Jobs Where I Would Suck
Someone asked me what my dream job would be. The ones that come to mind are a) best-selling author, b) world-traveling yoga instructor, and c) Girl Scout cookie tester. There has to be a job that encompasses all that. Right? Here are several jobs I could never do: Anything involving numbers: Math might as wellContinue reading “Top 5 Jobs Where I Would Suck”
You Know You’re a Mother If . . .
Mother’s are a special breed. Usually a cross between a Pomeranian and a Black Lab, they are either yapping constantly, or smothering you with love. Once you’re a mom, you do things you never imagined, because kids numb your brain to any kind of higher-thought functions. (Your brain on kids.) About the time your 2-year-oldContinue reading “You Know You’re a Mother If . . .”
Proof Our Parents Tried to Kill Us
If you grew up during the ’70s (the 1970s–not the 1870s) then you’re lucky to be alive. The ’70s ushered in the heyday of processed foods, experimental products and sugar, sugar, sugar! The things our parents fed us have now been banned in most countries and labeled with the warning: “DO NOT CONSUME. Side effects include DEATH.” I’m notContinue reading “Proof Our Parents Tried to Kill Us”
How To Be a Better Parent
Now that my daughters are “adults,” I can start telling other people how to raise their children. I can be one of those women with opinions about EVERY aspect of parenting, especially the ones I really sucked at. (The tall ones are my daughters. The short ones are my grandkids. They’re all perfect. Like me.) First,Continue reading “How To Be a Better Parent”
Ask Me About My Temper
(“Peri angry!”) I applied for a job recently, and was asked the strangest question: What can you tell me about your temper? I wasn’t sure what he meant. Did he mean my temper when my dog eats the couch cushions, or my temper when my husband spends the weekend watching the Golf Channel? Was heContinue reading “Ask Me About My Temper”
Top 5 Reasons to Avoid Parking Lots
When you’re 16 and handed a driver’s license, everything is fresh and lovely and exciting and free! You have no idea how much you’ll come to hate driving within a few years. No one tells you the real stress of driving doesn’t come from tailgaters, speed-demons or police lights in the rearview mirror. Real driving stress comes inContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Avoid Parking Lots”
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