In an alternate universe, I’m a prima ballerina. I’m performing jetes and arabesques and other fancy-sounding French words. I’m twirling across the stage in a flowing costume. I’m curtsying to my adoring fans while they toss roses at my feet. However, in this universe, I’m a . . . what’s the opposite of ballerina? WhateverContinue reading “Would You Care To Dance?”
Author Archives: Peri Kinder
Virtual Competition
We all have that one friend whose life could be a Hallmark movie. She spends her days organizing family sing-a-longs, has slow-motion snowball fights, and she snuggles with her family by the fireplace, drinking cocoa and wearing matching pajamas. The Golden Retriever has a matching neckerchief. And the toddler doesn’t spill hot chocolate on the white, plush velvet couch. This woman is too amazingContinue reading “Virtual Competition”
Top 5 Things to Avoid in January
January is #1 on my list of Top 10 Months I Hate. Once Christmas is cleaned up and the work holidays are over, there’s no reason to put up with January’s cold, blizzardy, moody attitude. It’s Mother Nature’s version of PMS. Because my boss insists I show up EVERY workday this month, I can’t justContinue reading “Top 5 Things to Avoid in January”
Top 5 Halloween Party Themes
In less than three weeks, it will be Halloween. You’re running out of time to plan an unforgettable, totally unique Halloween party that will set you apart from all the boring sugar cookie decorating and pumpkin carving celebrations. Please. You’re better than that. If you’re having a hard time coming up with a unique themeContinue reading “Top 5 Halloween Party Themes”
Middle of the Night Musings
It’s 3 a.m. I’m awake. Again. My mind quivers like a raccoon on Red Bull, forcing me to think about a) Christmas shopping, b) the end of the world, c) my Halloween costume and d) wondering if I should throw Ringo the Dog outside because he’s been licking himself for hours. I’m also hot. Temperature hot, notContinue reading “Middle of the Night Musings”
Nonviolent Protest: A Primer
On Sunday, two dozen NFL teams demonstrated an act of nonviolent protest– and the country lost its shit. During the national anthem (you know, that five-minute block of time when you stock up on nachos and beer), NFL players either took a knee on the field or locked arms with teammates to show solidarity withContinue reading “Nonviolent Protest: A Primer”
Top 5 Reasons I Don’t Live in Florida
I took a summer break from writing this blog so I could have a mental breakdown. Now I can check that off my list of things to do and get back to some smart-ass blogging. As you’re aware, it’s hurricane season, and meteorologists around the country are having orgasms on live TV as they discussContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons I Don’t Live in Florida”
Why One Love Manchester Was a Big Deal
Remember in “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” when the Grinch has raided the Who’s village, taken all their food and gifts, and stands on the top of Mount Crumpit waiting for the Whos to wake up so he can hear their crying and sobbing? At first, he believes he hears wailing in the streets. ButContinue reading “Why One Love Manchester Was a Big Deal”
Top 5 Reasons to Avoid Yoga
No one told me once I started practicing yoga, it would destroy my life. I wish someone had mentioned the potential side effects before I took my first class. But it’s done and I can’t reverse the process. It would be like trying to un-melt a s’more. If you’ve considered starting a yoga practice, it’s onlyContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Avoid Yoga”
Top 5 Ways to Fix Healthcare
Congress is too worried about pissing off big medical, pharmaceutical and insurance companies to fix healthcare. Instead of curing a dying healthcare system, Congress sits on its chest slowly suffocating the life out of any reform. Maybe our representatives don’t see the populace walking towards them with torches and pitchforks, but we’re coming. If thoseContinue reading “Top 5 Ways to Fix Healthcare”
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