Shelved between the gory chaos of Halloween and the rabid excess of Christmas, Thanksgiving gets no respect. It’s the Rodney Dangerfield of holidays. (Google him, you young punks.) Is it because we’re not grateful? Is it because no one really likes stuffing and cranberries? Here’s my hypothesis regarding Thanksgiving’s no-respect status. We’re too busy formulating Black Friday plans. ItContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons Thanksgiving Gets No Respect”
Category Archives: Top 5 Lists
Top 5 Humor Writing Tips
People sometimes ask me, “How do you write funny?” I’m not sure if they mean my writing is humorous or the way I write is hilarious. So, I usually stare at these people until they wander off. If they’re asking how I come up with funny topics and put them on paper (or screen), I share myContinue reading “Top 5 Humor Writing Tips”
Top 5 Things I Will Do Before Accepting Your Party Invitation
As a high-functioning introvert, I’ve trained myself to attend public events without breaking out in hives, shutting myself away in the bathroom or yelling at people to “Just stop with the talking, already!!” But social interaction isn’t high on my to-do list. In fact, I can think of at least 50 things I will do beforeContinue reading “Top 5 Things I Will Do Before Accepting Your Party Invitation”
Top 5 Things I’ve Learned by Going Gluten-free
I never wanted to be one of THOSE people who had to tell everyone, from family members to strangers at Walmart, about their gluten intolerance. I didn’t want to be one of THOSE people who read all the food ingredients, interrogated waiters at restaurants until they cried, and then babbled on and on and on about theirContinue reading “Top 5 Things I’ve Learned by Going Gluten-free”
Top 5 Things You Should NEVER Say to a Woman Having A Baby Girl
I was blessed with four daughters. And by “blessed” I mean I survived raising four girls without landing in a correctional facility or a mental asylum. Yet. As my daughters say, there’s still time. In our Biblical-based patriarchal society, having four daughters (and no sons) is akin to kicking your ancestors in the teeth. IfContinue reading “Top 5 Things You Should NEVER Say to a Woman Having A Baby Girl”
Top 5 Ways For Americans to Pull it Together
I read news headlines with increasing horror. Not because of the atrocious acts committed by people with more weapons than brains, but by the reaction of our country (the freakin’ United States of America!!). After the tragedies in Paris and San Bernardino, some Americans are called for an end to accepting refugees fleeing from war. WAR! Women,Continue reading “Top 5 Ways For Americans to Pull it Together”
Halloween for Dummies: Top 5 Tips For a Successful Holiday
Some people live in countries (or states) where Halloween is ignored because people believe it’s based on Satanic rituals and pagan beliefs. They might have a small Jesus-themed trunk-or-treat event in a church parking lot, handing out mini New Testaments, before heading home for a family sing-a-long. But in Utah (home of pagan beliefs) we celebrate HalloweenContinue reading “Halloween for Dummies: Top 5 Tips For a Successful Holiday”
Top 5 Ways To Stay Awake During Afternoon Meetings
Even if you’ve been freebasing Mountain Dew Voltage, eating sugar straight from the bag, or enduring a 5-Hour Energy Drink enema, chances are, if you’re stuck in an afternoon meeting, you will fall asleep. It doesn’t matter if you’re attending a conference in Disneyworld, enduring a church meeting on a warm summer day or sittingContinue reading “Top 5 Ways To Stay Awake During Afternoon Meetings”
Top 5 Reasons to be Lazy This Summer
Remember when you were a kid and summer vacation stretched out like a long, sweet piece of warm caramel? Well, get over it. You’ll never have three months to do absolutely nothing EVER AGAIN. But. While you might not be able to laze around the house in your jammies, eating cold cereal and popsicles untilContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to be Lazy This Summer”
Top 5 Reasons to Not Eat Avocados
I’m basically an all-food eating machine. But there are some items of “food” I must refuse–on totally valid grounds. For instance, I don’t eat mayonnaise because it’s icky. I refuse to eat squid because it’s icky. In fact, most foods I don’t eat are just plain icky. Take the avocado–please (ba-dum-dum). Besides not knowing whichContinue reading “Top 5 Reasons to Not Eat Avocados”
perikinder.com 