It’s the time of year people pretend “The Nutcracker” ballet is a fun holiday activity. If you’re one of the lucky few who never sat through this weird production involving multi-headed vermin, living toys and one unsettling old man, here’s a recap. Picture a festive house in the late 1800s with dozens of dancing guests,Continue reading “Son of a Nutcracker”
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Don’t Forget November
Sandwiched between October and December, November is the bologna of months. Everyone pulls it out, gives it a sniff, then tosses it in the trash. Once Halloween is over, we blast into a frenzy of Christmas shopping and decorating, forgetting all about this beautiful month full of autumn leaves, crisp apples and carb overload. WeContinue reading “Don’t Forget November”
The Witching Hour
We all know Halloween is funded by Big Dental to create more cavities but it’s also true that Halloween traditions started long before lobbyists destroyed the planet. Black cats, pumpkins and ghosts existed at least 50 years ago, and probably longer. So how did Halloween customs get started? Lucky for you, I researched this topicContinue reading “The Witching Hour”
Power Up
One of my favorite writers, Anne Lamott, said, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” I think of this when I’m feeling glitchy, when my processor runs slow, my memory won’t upload and I can’t download complete, coherent sentences. When my energy drains like a cell phoneContinue reading “Power Up”
It’s a Jungle Out There
Sitting in the petri dish of a playground at a nearby fast-food chain, I watch my grandkids jump around like just-released-into-the-wild baboons. Like every other adult in the room, I hoped this stop would be a fun diversion, a place the kids could play while I read War and Peace. Kids on playgrounds are fascinatingContinue reading “It’s a Jungle Out There”
Hang Me Out to Dry
After happily drying our clothes for a decade, our dryer hit its tweenage years and started giving us the silent treatment. It would only work when we said magic words or used pliers to wrangle it into submission. I wasn’t ready to plop down several hundred bucks for a new dryer, so I suggested weContinue reading “Hang Me Out to Dry”
Rockin’ Around the Real Christmas Tree
Now that we’re almost empty nesters, my husband tentatively suggested that we destroy Christmas. We were cuddling in front of the TV when he whispered, “Do you think it’s time we invested in a fake tree?” “No.” “But a real tree stresses you out each year.” “That’s not stress, it’s the Christmas spirit,” I replied.Continue reading “Rockin’ Around the Real Christmas Tree”
O Tidings of Comfort Annoy
Now that Facebook has become a year-round newsletter, packed with enough posts to make us feel miserable all year long, can we finally call it quits on those dreadful holiday letters? I understand a family newsletter can be a highlight of the season, recapping all your adventures with witty repartee and candy cane clip art,Continue reading “O Tidings of Comfort Annoy”
Top 5 Worst Things That Can Happen When You’re Camping
Everything about camping is wrong. There’s a reason we stopped living nomadic lifestyles and built homes for our families. By taking your family camping, you’re pushing back thousands of years of progress. Don’t be a progress hater. If you insist on dragging your family through the wilderness, here are the top 5 worst things thatContinue reading “Top 5 Worst Things That Can Happen When You’re Camping”
Summer Vacation Blues
I remember summer vacation. Used to be, the school bell rang and we’d dash from our seats like cheetahs chasing a tasty gazelle. We were free! Three months of laziness! Now. Boo. The kids are out of school, enjoying three months of freedom they won’t appreciate–and us 9-to-5ers are trying not to cry as weContinue reading “Summer Vacation Blues”
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