Life and Laughter

Top 5 Worst Things That Can Happen When You’re Camping

Everything about camping is wrong. There’s a reason we stopped living nomadic lifestyles and built homes for our families. By taking your family camping, you’re pushing back thousands of years of progress. Don’t be a progress hater. If you insist on dragging your family through the wilderness, here are the top 5 worst things thatContinue reading “Top 5 Worst Things That Can Happen When You’re Camping”

Summer Vacation Blues

I remember summer vacation. Used to be, the school bell rang and we’d dash from our seats like cheetahs chasing a tasty gazelle. We were free! Three months of laziness! Now. Boo. The kids are out of school, enjoying three months of freedom they won’t appreciate–and us 9-to-5ers are trying not to cry as weContinue reading “Summer Vacation Blues”

Speak of the Devil

As a child growing up in a strict Mormon household in the ‘70s, I spent most of my day trying not to unintentionally invite Satan into our home. It was a struggle because according to my mom there were hundreds of things we could do that would summon the Prince of Darkness to our doorstep.Continue reading “Speak of the Devil”

Don’t Kill the Messenger

There are many journalists still working hard to present the truth, but it’s getting harder to hear their voices over the screeching of velociraptors, the screaming of town criers and the bellicose rants of our leaders.

Out in Left Field

Baseball has been America’s favorite pastime for more than 150 years, followed closely by gun control debates, reality TV and overeating. There’s just something about sitting in a ballpark surrounded by drunk fans that screams ‘Merica! The hubbie and I spent a weekend in Phoenix for spring training where teams get together for pre-season gamesContinue reading “Out in Left Field”

Children Without Borders

I just learned that when I was a child, my parents were criminals. That’s a lot to take in when you thought your mom and dad were law-abiding citizens—more or less. I had no idea my parents hid a dark side until I heard that parents in Maryland were charged with neglect for letting theirContinue reading “Children Without Borders”

You Know You’re the Mother Of a Teenage Daughter If . . .

Thank goodness children live with you for more than a decade before they become teenagers, because if couples were handed a teenage girl right off the bat, no one would ever have children again. Plan on enjoying the first 12 or 13 years with your adorable little girl. Store up all the fun you can becauseContinue reading “You Know You’re the Mother Of a Teenage Daughter If . . .”

Top 5 Things to Avoid Wearing Once I Turn 50

This year, I turn 50. Half a freakin’ century. I’m older than ATMs, GPS and Prozac. Beauty editors love to give older women advice about what they should and shouldn’t wear, like it’s any of their $&%$ing business. But, they have the right idea. After living on this crazy planet for five decades, there areContinue reading “Top 5 Things to Avoid Wearing Once I Turn 50”

Would You Care To Dance?

In an alternate universe, I’m a prima ballerina. I’m performing jetes and arabesques and other fancy-sounding French words. I’m twirling across the stage in a flowing costume. I’m curtsying to my adoring fans while they toss roses at my feet. However, in this universe, I’m a . . . what’s the opposite of ballerina? WhateverContinue reading “Would You Care To Dance?”