Give a dog a bone, and he chews it until it’s a messy, pulpy, disgusting pile of goo. Which he then swallows. Give the media a scandal, and they’ll do the same thing. Is the media just lazy, or are celebrities too easy to talk about? Either way–enough, folks!!
I don’t want to hear another WORD about any of these people(s):
- Miley Cyrus: I get it. She’s a dirty whore. Guess what? She doesn’t care. Let’s move on.
- Kris Jenner (aka, The Kardashian Kommandant): She had a talk show? She’s a tight-faced control-freak? Her daughters are tramps? Not news.
- Paula Deen: She lived in the South. She made a mistake. She apologized. NEXT!
- One Direction: Just ’cause.
(All they need is Ego and Super-Ego. Oh, wait. . . )
- Lady Gaga: What?? She did something crazy? She wore a see-through parachute with Converse high-tops? That’s like saying Alaska was cold last winter.
- Beyoncé/J-Lo (because they’re interchangeable): Beyoncé swinging her (daughter?) Clinging Blue Ivy at the park. Beyoncé getting mobbed by fans. Beyoncé’s hot-body advice. Beyoncé’s hot-fashion advice. How ’bout not?
- Congressmen: Professional re-speakers, they haven’t had an original thought in decades.
- Reality Show Judges: Don’t watch. Don’t care.
(I might watch if Judge Judy was an American Idol judge.)
- Justin Bieber: Maybe he and Miley can get together and out-disgust each other.
- Lindsay Lohan: Drug-addled Disney teen who lost her way. I sense a theme.
- Taylor Swift: If I watch another awards show where I see the camera cut to Taylor for her every reaction, I will throw a shoe at the screen. And then I’ll be angry ’cause I broke my TV.
- Jennifer Aniston: Married? Single? Pregnant? Upset? Stripping? Vegetarian? Really, people. Don’t you have a life?
I also don’t want to see anyone’s baby bump, plastic surgery scars, fashion mistakes, ultrasounds, blood tests results, tongues, shocking hair cuts/colors, paternity tests, or anyone’s “private hell” or “drop-50-pounds-fast” starvation routine. I call “uncle.”
I totally agree. It’s this crazy obsession people have to be “see.” I mean the whole definition of a “selfie” is that you’re alone, right? So why does it seem so sad? If you had friends they would take a picture of you….but no friends, take a “selfie.” It makes me shudder.
Right on the money! I would like to add Anthony Weiner (and all the jokes that go with that silly name) and Brad Pitt’s hair!
Dear god! Its like being in my head!!!! Amen to all of it! 😀