People I’m Tired of Hearing About

Give a dog a bone, and he chews it until it’s a messy, pulpy, disgusting pile of goo. Which he then swallows.  Give the media a scandal, and they’ll do the same thing. Is the media just lazy, or are celebrities too easy to talk about? Either way–enough, folks!!

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I don’t want to hear another WORD about any of these people(s):

  • Miley Cyrus: I get it. She’s a dirty whore. Guess what? She doesn’t care. Let’s move on.
  • Kris Jenner (aka, The Kardashian Kommandant): She had a talk show? She’s a tight-faced control-freak? Her daughters are tramps? Not news.
  • Paula Deen: She lived in the South. She made a mistake. She apologized. NEXT!
  • One Direction: Just ’cause.

id(All they need is Ego and Super-Ego. Oh, wait. . . )

  • Lady Gaga: What?? She did something crazy? She wore a see-through parachute with Converse high-tops? That’s like saying Alaska was cold last winter.
  • Beyoncé/J-Lo (because they’re interchangeable):  Beyoncé swinging her (daughter?) Clinging Blue Ivy at the park. Beyoncé getting mobbed by fans. Beyoncé’s hot-body advice. Beyoncé’s hot-fashion advice. How ’bout not?
  • Congressmen: Professional re-speakers, they haven’t had an original thought in decades.
  • Reality Show Judges: Don’t watch. Don’t care.

judge(I might watch if Judge Judy was an American Idol judge.)

  • Justin Bieber: Maybe he and Miley can get together and out-disgust each other.
  • Lindsay Lohan: Drug-addled Disney teen who lost her way. I sense a theme.
  • Taylor Swift: If I watch another awards show where I see the camera cut to Taylor for her every reaction, I will throw a shoe at the screen. And then I’ll be angry ’cause I broke my TV.
  • Jennifer Aniston: Married? Single? Pregnant? Upset? Stripping? Vegetarian? Really, people. Don’t you have a life?

I also don’t want to see anyone’s baby bump, plastic surgery scars, fashion mistakes, ultrasounds, blood tests results, tongues, shocking hair cuts/colors, paternity tests, or anyone’s “private hell” or “drop-50-pounds-fast” starvation routine. I call “uncle.”

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4 thoughts on “People I’m Tired of Hearing About

  1. I totally agree. It’s this crazy obsession people have to be “see.” I mean the whole definition of a “selfie” is that you’re alone, right? So why does it seem so sad? If you had friends they would take a picture of you….but no friends, take a “selfie.” It makes me shudder.

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  2. Right on the money! I would like to add Anthony Weiner (and all the jokes that go with that silly name) and Brad Pitt’s hair!

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  3. Dear god! Its like being in my head!!!! Amen to all of it! 😀

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