Things Driving Me Crazy Today

(These damn kids with their loud music and their saggy jeans! Get off my lawn, you buggers!)

I must be getting older because my patience is wearing thin. I always thought my grandma was crotchety and impatient–and now I’ve become her. (Time to learn how to knit and yell at the neighbor kids.) But I’m sure my grandma would agree with the following things that are driving me crazy today:

  • Male politicians and religious leaders (and some FEMALE politicians) arguing about a woman’s choice for birth control, abortion, etc. At what point did women’s health issues become the government’s business? Stay out of my nether-regions, sir!

(Coming soon! A new Utah State Legislature-approved fashion line for women.)

  •  Drivers who don’t wave “thank you” after you let them pull in front of you.
  • People who are NOT me that make millions of dollars a year.
  • “Celebrity” news about a) Lindsey Lohan’s relapses, b) Angelina Jolie’s fertility status, c) anything involving a Snooki or a J-Woww, or d) Katherine Heigl’s “career.”

(“News,” by definition, is something that happens out of the ordinary. This is not “news.”)

  • People who are NOT me who are eating chocolate cake right now.
  • Beyoncé trademarking her daughter’s name: Blue Ivy Carter. Really? Is having a child a money-making scheme? (Didn’t work for me, that’s for damn sure.)
  • People who speak Starbuck-ese. Get over it! The sizes are small, medium and large. Geesh.

(Thank God there’s still some sense in the world.)

  • The Oscars! Enough all-freakin’-ready!
  • Showing up at a semi-formal event in jeans and flip-flops. Whoops. (Didn’t get the memo.)
  • Self check-out lanes at the grocery store that are 12 times slower than having an employee do the job for you.  I’m not smart enough to be a cashier–or I’d BE A CASHIER!!!
  • The Utah State Legislature. No explanation needed.

(The Utah Capitol Building. Could also be the setting for the Ringling Brothers, “Psycho” and/or “Titanic.”)

Now that I’ve vented, I’m going to take my teeth out and take a nap.

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13 thoughts on “Things Driving Me Crazy Today

  1. Your closing really rounded out an all-around awesome blog entry. Now I have no choice…I MUST follow you….

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  2. Thanks goodness I am not the the only one! I feel like I am turning into my mother and am desperately fighting it! But some things like the above make it harder to do! X

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  3. You must be psychic because I was just eating chocolate cake. Sorry that you hate me today.

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  4. Oh my…..I, too, am “her” and I don’t care if anyone knows it. 🙂 I also, hate the whole Starbucks vocabulary. It’s just coffee. I steer clear of anyone needing to boost their self esteem with a bean water. Awesome blog!

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  5. I’m only 30 and pretty much all those things annoy me too! I better start shopping for orthopedic shoes. 😉

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  6. Great post! It is an outrage that you and I are not yet earning millions of dollars/pounds a year! Fear not – I’m sure this glaring oversight will be rectified in the near future 🙂

    Now where did I put that lottery ticket…?

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  7. You are not alone as you are being driven crazy. Me too! Seriously, this post is very funny

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  8. I couldn’t agree more!!! Love your post.

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  9. Politician need to be reminded once in awhile… WOMEN CAN VOTE.

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  10. I’m definitely with you on the self checkout lanes in the supermarket!

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  11. Thanks I needed that this Monday morn ~

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