7 Habits of Highly Irritating People

Everyone has irritating habits; those strange little quirks that drive the people around us loco. But some people go above and beyond the label to become habitually irritating. That’s why the term “justifiable homicide” was created.

punch

Here are the 7 Habits of Highly Irritating People. Taken individually, they’re tolerable; but collectively?!

No eye contact during a discussion. It’s hard enough making small talk at parties or business meetings. But if the person you’re speaking with is looking over your shoulder, down your shirt, at the ceiling–or anywhere but at you, just walk away. They won’t notice.

Intense eye contact during a discussion. Ever feel like you’re talking to a serial killer? Chances are, their eyes have been boring into your soul for an intense 10 minutes of conversation. They don’t glance away, they don’t break eye contact for one second–and they never blink (except that one time when the guy’s eyelids blinked sideways.)

Interrupting conversations. So you’re talking to a co-worker/friend/cousin/mortal enemy, and they suddenly decide your story is too boring–and they start telling you about their trip to the Bahamas. Move on.

Being judgmental bastards. All your co-worker/friend/cousin/mortal enemy can talk about is how everyone sucks. Because perfect.

cat judge

Being easily offended. There’s always that person who can take anything you say and turn it into an insult. “My, that’s a lovely dress you’re wearing.” “What does that mean?! Why are you lookin’ at my dress?!?”

People who don’t listen. You can tell when people stop paying attention. They get a distant look in their eyes, and you can hear the squeaky hamster wheel in their brain slowly come to a stop. Just start rambling nonsense or making up new swear words. It won’t matter. They’ve checked out.

People who have to be right. You could be discussing gravity. Or the polio vaccine. Or the societal impact of The Simpsons. But it doesn’t matter what you’re talking about, because this person ALWAYS disagrees with you–and backs up their argument with baseless “facts.”

Another irritating habit? A person who points out irritating habits. Have a good Tuesday. If that’s even possible.

 

Holiday Things Driving Me Crazy

The holiday season is a blur of contradictions. On one hand, we’re celebrating the birth of a man who preached simple, humble living. On the other hand, we spend tons of money buying “As Seen On TV” crap for everyone we’ve ever met in our lives.

On Monday we’re dreaming of a White Christmas. And on Thursday we’re cursing in several languages as we shovel snow.

We’re just never happy. To continue that trend, here is my list of Holiday Things Driving Me Crazy:

  • Getting “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime” stuck in my head for 12 consecutive days.
  • Pinterest shame for not making everything homemade.
  • The “Naughty List” blackmail scheme.
  • Egg nog.
  • Christmas specials featuring Lady Gaga, Michael Buble, One Direction or Nicki Minaj.

nicki

(Looks like someone skinned a Christmas elf.)

  • Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol? Really??
  • Peppermint-flavored Egg Nog.
  • Children screaming at the mall.
  • Eating “one more piece of toffee,” for eight straight hours.
  • Perfect family Christmas newsletters.

perfect(This is how serial killers are formed.)

  • Christmas sweaters for dogs.
  • Singing Christmas trees, guitar-playing Santas, tap-dancing penguins and caroling elves. Stop it.
  • Being judge by a fat man in a red fur suit.
  • Hearing “Jingle bells, Batman smells” over and over and over and over and over and over and over. . .
  • Pumpkin spice-flavored Egg Nog.

egg nog(Let’s just say, Egg Not.)

Only 9 more days!! Enjoy what’s left of the season.