Halloween

Magic is a Superpower

Back in the day, it didn’t take much to be labeled a witch. Did you own a cat? Witch. Did you have a birthmark? Witch. Did you use herbs, wear a cape, know how to read or lure children into your gingerbread-flavored home so you could eat them for dinner? Witch. I’m just saying, theContinue reading “Magic is a Superpower”

Give Me Some Sugar

Whether I battled the world’s loudest candy wrappers or faced the principal for participating in black market candy sales, Halloween remained my favorite holiday. I still squirrel away my favorite candies and I warn everyone to touch my cache at their peril. As a sugar fiend, Halloween was a High Holy day in my childhood.Continue reading “Give Me Some Sugar”

Just Here For The Boos

It’s been a decade since COVID-19 reached our shores, ushering in 45 years of hand sanitizer, remote learning and face mask protesters sporting apostrophe-addled signs like “Your an idiot” and “Parent’s against masks”. But now it’s October. Halloween is at risk. S*** just got real. Nothing could be scarier than 2020, with its earthquakes andContinue reading “Just Here For The Boos”

The Witching Hour

We all know Halloween is funded by Big Dental to create more cavities but it’s also true that Halloween traditions started long before lobbyists destroyed the planet. Black cats, pumpkins and ghosts existed at least 50 years ago, and probably longer. So how did Halloween customs get started? Lucky for you, I researched this topicContinue reading “The Witching Hour”

Junk in the Trunk

Trunks are super useful. If you’re an elephant, they’re a necessity. If you want to change a tire, hide Christmas gifts or transport a body, trunks are invaluable. But I don’t understand the connection between trunks and Halloween. Why is trunk-or-treating a thing? In the U.S., trick-or-treating started after WWII when children went door toContinue reading “Junk in the Trunk”

Dressed to Kill

Every autumn, as I reconstructed our home after three months of child infestation, my daughters settled into their school classes and thoughts turned to Halloween. More specifically, thoughts turned to Halloween costumes. I’d load my girls into the minivan and we’d attack the pattern books at Joann fabric, looking for the perfect costumes. (These patternContinue reading “Dressed to Kill”

Top 5 Halloween Party Themes

In less than three weeks, it will be Halloween. You’re running out of time to plan an unforgettable, totally unique Halloween party that will set you apart from all the boring sugar cookie decorating and pumpkin carving celebrations. Please. You’re better than that. If you’re having a hard time coming up with a unique themeContinue reading “Top 5 Halloween Party Themes”

Are You Too Old To Trick or Treat?

I don’t ask for ID when someone shows up on my doorstep begging for candy–as long as it’s Halloween. I don’t care if you’re a gangsta teen, a middle-aged mom, a 2-day-old baby or even that creepy 30-something guy who’s always hanging around the park. I’ll give anyone candy–because it’s CANDY! Everyone loves candy! ButContinue reading “Are You Too Old To Trick or Treat?”

Halloween Candy Personality Quiz

Leave it to Facebook to help you determine which U.S. President you are, what horror monster you’d be, your favorite color and if you’ve ever attended college. Online quizzes are the new GED; and you know you’ve taken at least one (dozen). I thought I’d create a quiz to determine what your Halloween candy behavior saysContinue reading “Halloween Candy Personality Quiz”

It’s. Still. Summer.

There are people out there (yes, I’m talking to you), who love to discuss the waning days of summer; who anticipate the slow dimming of the sun as society returns to a state of hibernation. To these people, I say, “Shut the hell up.” The only thing that gets me through stupid Utah winters, is theContinue reading “It’s. Still. Summer.”