Besides the super-human performances, the world-record-breaking finishes and the crazy intense tracking of mosquitos and water in Rio de Janeiro at the Summer Olympics, I found myself asking the following questions. (At least until my husband told me to stop talking and just watch, for @#$@’s sake. Geesh.)
(Unofficial mascot of the Summer Games in Rio.)
Why do swimmers wear headphones? Are they listening to whale or dolphin noises?
How can the underwater camera guy, getting shots of the swimmers, hold his breath for so long?
How do the beach volleyball women compete without getting constant wedgies?
Do gymnastic organizers buy chalk in bulk? When they open the bag, does it explode all over the room, like when I rip open a bag of Fruity Pebbles?
Do gymnasts ever get tired of smiling and swinging their arms every time they stand up? Should I start doing that at work?
If Ryan Lochte is ever really robbed at gunpoint, will anyone believe him? Did his horrible dye job affect his judgement?
Have Aly Raisman’s parents been properly sedated?
Shouldn’t the U.S. win all the shooting competitions?
How are you supposed to stand during the national anthem? Is there a rule for crying the appropriate amount for TV (one lone tear, rolling slowly down the cheek)? Do you have to silently mouth the words correctly?
How soon can we expect synchronized horse diving?
Who can explain Greco wrestling?
Is Usain Bolt the coolest person in the world?
When will they bring back tug-of-war and croquet?
Can anyone watch the canoe slalom without singing songs from Disney’s Pocahontas?
(Just around the river bend!!)
Only two more years until the Winter Olympics in PyeyongChang, South Korea. I can’t imagine anything going wrong there. . .
Citius, Altius, Fortius! (Translation: Citrus, HealthCare and Couch Cushion Forts!)
Indeed, the Olympics really missed a trick in not bringing back the grand old game of Croquet
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