Not only is it National Umbrella Day, it’s also Tuesday, the legislature is in session and it’s time for my list of Things Driving Me Crazy Today!

Today’s list includes:

•   The Utah Legislature selecting a commemorative firearm each year. This year it’s a freakin’ AR-15 assault rifle. Welcome to the Wild West, @#$@%$s!

(Why make laws when we can shoot things instead?)

• Shaving off the first three layers of skin from my shins.
• People who keep talking about the “incredible cleanse” they’re doing. Shut up, already. Have a donut.
• Drivers who honk their horns before they run a red light. When did this become a thing?
• The Entertainment Awards Season. Yes, we know you’re incredibly beautiful, phenomenally talented and fantastically wealthy. Congratulations on giving yourselves an award.

(If the Lego cast wasn’t invited, it’s just not worth watching.)

• When you’re at the gym and someone near you farts, and you worry that people will think it’s you.
• Not winning the Idaho lottery.
• The Utah Legislature making national news for all the wrong reasons.
• When the pull-tab on a can breaks.
• Stabbing yourself with a knife while trying to open a can after the pull-tab breaks.
• Failing a Facebook personality quiz.

Which Country Fits Your Personality?

(I didn’t know “The Black Hole from the Gravity movie” was a country.)

• People who are still talking about the SuperBowl. Get over it. It’s a game.
• News agencies that post ISIS execution videos. Why don’t you just write the terrorists a check?
• Getting the wrong size straw for your drink.
• My husband’s compulsion to turn off lights.
• Sitting in the dark.
• Moisturizer that doesn’t make me look ten years younger.
• Did I mention the Utah Legislature?

That’s it. Feel free to carry on!