Maybe the cold and snow are finally getting to me. Things seem to be extra irritating. Here are a few things on my s*** list today:

• People who type “Hahahah”, leaving off the final “a”. Did the person stop breathing mid-laugh? Should I call 9-1-1?
• People who stand directly behind me during a class at the gym. Hey! I got here early enough to set up my own personal space. Get the hell away from my lunge zone!!

(Excuse me!! Do I know you?)

• Standing in an elevator with strangers. Don’t know where to look. Don’t know what to say. So I just make tiny “meow” sounds.
• Forgetting my grocery list and trying to remember what I was supposed to buy.
• Sour cream hidden in food.
• Sitting in the back seat. Especially when the front windows are open.
• Always looking like a “before” ad for makeovers.
• Not being a millionaire.
• When I take a bite of pizza and all the hot cheese and toppings slide off the crust and melt to my chin.
• Picking up the frozen dog poop that’s been buried under the snow for two months.

(Underneath this beautiful snowscape is two tons of frozen dog poo.)

• When stores put stickers on glass picture frames–and you can never. get. the. residue. off. the. glass.
• The Utah Legislature. (I know, I’ve mentioned this one before. But it still fits.)
• When my “check engine” light comes on. I tend to read it like, “Engine. Check!”
• Movies about teenage vampires.

That’s it for today. Maybe I’ll have more patience tomorrow.