In November, it is required that every person in the country make a list of things they’re grateful for. If you don’t–you’re not a true American. But along with being thankful for food, clothing, shelter and chocolate, I am grateful for so much more.
I’m grateful for:
- Underwear that doesn’t leave panty-lines.
- The fact that I’ll NEVER have to take an algebra class ever, ever, ever again.
- Kim Kardashian’s fairy-tale wedding. What a true love story.
- The platypus. How cool is that thing?
- Dental floss. Not because it removes that make-believe plaque my dentist keeps nagging me about, but because if you ever need to tie off a severed artery–floss is your best friend.
- The Jersey Shore Christmas Ornament collection. Who wouldn’t want dem hangin’ from yo’ tree?
Fiction. Because reality sucks.
- Daughters who aren’t currently in prison.
- This picture: