If this blog was a television sitcom, I’d be celebrating my 100th episode with big-name guest stars. But since this is only a blog, that’s not gonna happen. I could have invited some guest bloggers to post something . . . or . . . I could do a video montage of past postings set to “The Rose” by Bette Midler.
(Insert video montage here.)
But that sounds like WAAAY too much work. Instead I’ve listed 100 reasons that you should keep reading my blog.
Take your pick:
1. You have nothing else to do.
2. The TV isn’t working.
3. Better than cleaning the floorboards.
4. Can’t sleep.
5. It isn’t quite time for breakfast/lunch/dinner.
6. Beats having a tooth filled.
(I passed out just posting this picture.)
7. The boss isn’t around.
8. It makes you feel superior.
9. You might laugh.
10. If you don’t laugh, you can at least judge me.
11. The kids are taking a nap.
12. You’ve already checked out the really cool blogs.
13. You want me to talk about my crazy-ass dog, Ringo.
14. It’s full of factual information.
16. It’s better than regrouting the tile.
17. It keeps you from eating leftover Halloween candy.
18. You might learn something.
19. But, probably not.
20. It keeps you off the streets.
21. I get $1 million for each visit to my site.
22. If you stop reading my blog, I’ll become a ghost of a person.
23. It’s a great weight-loss tool.
24. It keeps you from shoplifting.
25. You need a safe place to visit.
26. This is a no-judgement zone.
27. It’s better than having a bladder infection.
28. You can correct my grammar.
29. You can develop a penchant for sarcasm.
30. It goes well with chocolate.
(I want to look like this at least one time per day.)
31. It’s probably snowing.
32. It’s better than going to the OB-GYN.
33. It’s better than a kick in the pants.
Screw it. I can’t think of 100 reasons. Just read this list two more times, add one more reason–and we’ll call it good.