Besides two BORING teams (yawn); and besides the hours of pre-pre-pre-pre-game hype; and besides the fact that male athletes are the most overpaid, overindulged bunch of babies on the planet; while watching Sunday’s Super (?) Bowl, I found even more reasons to hate the game. (Of course, I was already biased because neither the Steelers nor the Niners were playing. Boo.)
(Future NFL Hall of Famer.)
#1. Stats: Who has the freakin’ time to research all the stats that are thrown at TV audiences? Most interceptions, total yards, most felonies, biggest tattoo, oldest grandma, best recipe for nachos–the TV announcers don’t. shut. the. hell. up. If Al Michaels threw out one more “this wide receiver spent the least amount of time doing homework” stat, I was going to throw my bowl of cheese dip at the TV.
#2. Overinflated Egos: Why does winning the Super Bowl make a team automatic WORLD Champions? While they’re at it, why not Intergalatically Undefeated? Or Universal Phenoms? How about next year the SB winner plays the Marvin Martian Marauders? (And didn’t the Giants LOSE 7 games during the season? Meh.)
(Oh, you have made me very angry! Very angry, indeed.)
#3. Boring Ads: Sequels abound. Not just in the movies but in the Super Bowl ads. Next year, no more talking babies, no monkeys at work and no more bikinis. And prohibition ads? Really, Budweiser? Ad execs, take a creative pill. (But I DID like watching John Stamos get a nasty head-butting. Hahahaha! I’ll eat yogurt just for that.)
#4. The Walk of Slime: Was anyone besides me bothered by the trophy walk where the old guy carried the SB trophy through a gantlet of Giants who fondled, kissed and worshiped the metal statue? I think one Giants player even French-kissed the thing. Very disturbing. And now the trophy carries millions of new germs. Thanks, New York.
#5. Half-Time Show: I admit it. Americans are hard to impress. Especially the sober ones. But Madonna seemed to shuffle through her performance (and not in the cool LMFAO way–in the Medicare way) and didn’t seem to have any energy. Granted, I’ve never had to perform a half-time show but I don’t think I’d end it with a church choir.
Want to get together and have a 2013 Bloggers’ Super Bowl boycott?
Imagine if we paid that kind of homage to people who actually did something important, like the scientists who come up with the next generation of antibiotics. Or how about investing that kind of money into cancer research or feeding the hungry? I couldn’t comment on the halftime show because I didn’t watch it. Great post. Had to be said!
Let’s not forget the constant replays of everything — especially the last stupid touchdown where he sits down over the goal line! My mother was right — the ONLY reason to watch football is to see men’s cute butts in tight pants – and even that isn’t as much fun because most of these men have BIG butts!
First of all let me say that I am a sports fan. I do however, believe that all athletes are overpaid, and most of them are crybabies. If I got paid half as much as they did I wouldn’t have near as much to whine about. As for the halftime show I actually thought it was pretty good. But now that you bring it up she probably could have shown a little more energy. Maybe being 50(?) hinders that a little. On to the commercials I did like some of them they made me laugh hard. Although I do not remember which ones they were so I am guessing no lasting impression. LOL The sandman car commercial I don’t remember which car it was, and the the two dog commercials: Here we go, the race where the dog moonwalks across the finish line. and I agree watching John Stamos get head butted were the best ones.
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Coming from Aus, I know nothing of the game itself, but your list is pretty funny and all too true in regards to Aus footy players. Oh, and we don’t have half time entertainment in our Grand Finals.
Love your lists!