You might be a perfectly calm, organized human being on the weekend. You manage to find time to eat, shop, play, rest, watch TV, walk the dog, bake cookies, wander aimlessly, do yard work, hit the gym, meditate and read a favorite book.
But on Monday morning, you suddenly find you can’t function. You can’t eat breakfast, shower, match your shoes or leave the house without yelling at various spouses, children or pets. You lose track of keys, wallets, work assignments and phones.
If just the idea of going to work sends you into a whirling frenzy, you might have Aggressive Work Denial Disorder (AWDD). Studies have shown that AWDD symptoms are heightened on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but tend to dissipate for the next two days until by Friday afternoon you’re almost a functioning adult again.
To find out if you suffer from AWDD, answer the following questions:
- It’s Sunday afternoon. You a) have strong feelings of nausea, b) cry for no reason, c) reevaluate all your life choices, d) look for jobs on Craigslist or e) all of the above.
- You (barely) get to work on time only to realize you have a meeting in 10 minutes that you’re not prepared for. You a) hide in the bathroom until the meeting is over, b) growl at your co-worker, using a variety of swear words, c) attend the meeting but make sure the other attendees know you’re not happy.
- It’s almost lunchtime when you remember you left your lunchbox on the kitchen counter at home. You a) steal someone’s lunch from the fridge in the break room, b) decide this is a great time to start your weight loss program, but by 3 p.m. you’re so hungry you eat two Snickers bars, five handfuls of Hot Tamales and four bags of snack-size Cheetos or c) whine about how hungry you are until someone buys you a sandwich.
- You’re in meeting that you feel is unnecessary or redundant. Instead of participating, you a) play Candy Crush, b) sigh a lot or c) work on a blog for Tuesday.
- The project you’re working on is taking twice as long as expected. You a) do a half-assed job to finish it and get it out of the way, b) finish the project, but take three sick days to recover or c) swear you gave it to someone else to complete.
- When it comes to time management, you a) create to-do lists, b) just assume you’re remembering everything, or c) what’s time management?
- Your level of anger at work ranges from a) grumpy to pissed-off, b) furious to mildly homicidal or c) to raging lunatic to DEFCON 5.
If you answered any of these questions at work, you are definitely an AWDD sufferer because, shouldn’t you be working? I’m creating an AWDD support group that meets anywhere but work on Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.