Unless you’re Bill Gates or Warren Buffett, you’re probably feeling a bit of a pinch during this ongoing recession (although “experts” say it’s over). I thought I’d give you some handy tips to help you and your family save money as you ride out this economic roller coaster.

• (This is a fun one for the teenagers in your home.) Cancel all Internet and Cable services. Watch the hilarity ensue. Your teens will think you’re so cool because now they’ll have time to read books, mow lawns and clean their rooms. Win-Win!!
• Re-use plastic bags. You can use them to pick up dog poop, line garbage cans or, as a last resort, you can put one over your head and take some deep breaths. Soon, all your financial worries will be over. (For any suicidal folks out there, I’m kidding. Gees.)
• Stock up on those mini packets of ketchup, salsa, mustard or mayo that you get at 7-11. Mix a few ketchup and salsa packets with water and voila (that’s French for  “very tasty”), you have a spicy, tomato soup!

• Stop smiling. Frowning will save you hundreds of dollars in dental bills. There’s no reason to take care of your teeth if no one’s going to see them.
• Move in with your parents. Remember all the trouble you caused during your teenage years? Well, you can make it up to your mom and/or dad by sleeping in your old room for a year. Have kids? What a better way to bind generations than by living under the same roof. Just remember, your dad probably still walks around in his undies.
• Spend more time at the library. Not only do they have fantastic reading materials, they usually have restrooms, computers and couches. In fact, you could shut off the power to your house during the day and LIVE at the library!
• Avoid impulse buying. You know, things like milk, cereal, bread, toilet paper, soap and other luxuries you’ve become accustomed to. Be creative and use the food you already have in the house.

Economists guarantee the recession will be over soon. And by “over” I’m pretty sure they mean “ongoing until everyone is living at the local football field in tents.”

Spend wisely, my friends.