I’ve sensed a disturbance in society. A dark shadowy figure looms across the country, demanding loyalty from all those around him. A powerful force instigates unrest, encourages outrage and hate, and challenges his followers to embrace their inner rage to find their true destiny.
This person could be Darth Vader. This person could be Donald Trump. The similarities are eerie. Ever since Trump assigned Jar Jar Binks to take over the Office of Silly Walks, I’ve noticed his connection to the Star Wars universe and his uncanny resemblance to Darth Vader.
I’ll present the facts. You decide.
- They both have helmet head
- They both have a thing for the Space Force
- They are both seduced by power
- They both lead a staff of brainless clones
- Both try to destroy those who rebel against them
- They both surround themselves with wacky characters
- They consider themselves the center of the universe
(If you look very closely, you’ll see a black hole at the center of the universe. That’s Trump’s soul.)
- They both love the sound of their own voice
- They’ve either tried to boink or kill their daughters
- They have a love for long, flowing capes and ties
- Neither of them give a shit about endangered species
- They both answer to a bigger bad guy
- Neither understands sarcasm
- They wear suits that demonstrate their inability to fit in with society
- They both demonstrate personality disorders
- They’re both proficient at swinging a lightsaber/golf club
- The Death Star is powered with coal and is coated in Russian asbestos.
- They both reconnected to their inner goodness and light. Wait. Only Vader has done that. I guess Trump still has time. . .