I’m usually so mild-mannered and relaxed. But once in a while, my knickers get twisted and I get highly irrational. This is one of those times. These are things twisting my knickers today:
- North Korea. Just ’cause.
- My bathroom scale. I’m pretty sure it’s stuck. (I tried bashing it with a hammer, but the number still didn’t change.)
(The view of the numbers is so much better down here.)
- People who text while you’re trying to have a conversation with them. Put down your damn phone!!!
- Shaving my legs and then noticing I missed ALL the hair on my knees. (I usually notice this when I’m sitting in the sun, wearing shorts, and everyone is pointing at my hairy knees and laughing.)
(Makes you want to pet them, doesn’t it?)
- Going through the entire day with pepper stuck between my front teeth. Thanks “friends” for letting me know.
- ANY “news” about Zac Efron. Holy crap, people. (His name sounds like an over-the-counter allergy medication.)
- Being told multi-vitamins don’t do any good. And then being told all the produce at the grocery store has been leached of any nutrition. What am I supposed to eat to be healthy? (I guess it’s back to chocolate donuts and Coke.)
(Breakfast, lunch and dinner of champions.)
- Ringo the Dog when he decides to chase a cat. If you see someone running down your street, swinging a tangled leash and yelling “Come back, dumba**!!” It’s probably me.
- Going to the grocery store and not having anything good to eat for dinner. (Chocolate donuts and Coke, again.)