Along with the freeeeeezing temperatures, Newt Gingrich, my health insurance company and the shortage of Butterfinger candy bars in my home, the following things might make me fling myself off the tallest building. Of course, in Salt Lake, that’s not very tall. I’d probably survive. On life support.
(Look at me! I can fly!)
Things Driving Me Crazy Today:
- The redneck who “walks” his dog by driving his pick-up truck through the park while the dog runs alongside it. Can you get any lazier, sir?
- Automatic toilets that flush while you’re still sitting on them.
- Automatic toilets that don’t flush at all.
- People who don’t hold the door open–even when you’re right behind them.
- Eating healthy all day–then eating an entire apple pie before I go to bed.
(Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom nom.)
- Tall trucks that block the stoplights so you’re halfway through an intersection before you realize the light’s red.
- Sweaty guys (and girls) who don’t wipe off the machines at the gym. Ewwww.
- Being ignored by salespeople.
- Being hounded by salespeople.
(Picture him saying anything in a horrible New Jersey accent. Now picture him at Kohl’s trying to sell you nylons.)