November 2011

Holiday Decorations That Need to Go!

I’m very specific when it comes to holiday decorating. First, NO Christmas decorations can go up before Thanksgiving. Not even a tiny candy cane. Second, Christmas shouldn’t equal tacky. (O Holy S**t! Do not stare directly into the display.) I’m not the Martha Stewart of holiday decorating, but I do draw the line at theContinue reading “Holiday Decorations That Need to Go!”

I’m Grateful For . . .

In November, it is required that every person in the country make a list of things they’re grateful for. If you don’t–you’re not a true American. But along with being thankful for food, clothing, shelter and chocolate, I am grateful for so much more. I’m grateful for: Underwear that doesn’t leave panty-lines. (I think she might haveContinue reading “I’m Grateful For . . .”

The Many Reasons I Exercise

‘Tis the season to eat my body weight in pie. And because I do, I try to hit the gym several days a week to keep my frumpy, matronly figure up to snuff. But it’s not only my Elizabeth Taylor figure (the later years) that keeps me going to the gym. There are lots ofContinue reading “The Many Reasons I Exercise”

Children’s Books that Messed Me Up

I can point to many reasons why I’m a little “off” at times. Lack of social skills, fear of small animals and an unexplained anger toward anything purple are just a few of my quirks. After years of trying to explain myself, I’ve decided to blame the stories I was read as a child. Such as: Martha MatildaContinue reading “Children’s Books that Messed Me Up”

My Top 5 Favorite Body Parts

Every women’s magazine tells us to dress to enhance our favorite body part. They probably mean things like cleavage, legs or butt–but my favorite body parts are none of those. My knees are wrinkled, my butt is saggy and my boobs haven’t been in the same location as my chest since the birth of my first child.Continue reading “My Top 5 Favorite Body Parts”